Greetings all, I am new to this forum, so I am hoping that I am posting in the correct place. I am currently lost, confused, and at the same time have feelings. With that being said, I just need someone to talk too, and give me their opinions on the situation. Let's start with a little background. I come from a very small town. The type of town that everyone knows each other, eh, you know the deal. My family is highly christian and the principles that surround the religion as such. I have a very close family that is highly against people being with the same sex. In my small high school, were I graduated with a class of 91, I started to notice that I may be having some attraction for dudes. As with any high school male, that is deeply involved with sports and the community, I tried to deny it and do everything in my power to make sure that I wouldn't turn out gay. After graduation, I moved to college, where life would soon take a huge change. I met people from all around the world, and became friends with people who would soon become my best friends. As part of the college experience, I rushed a fraternity, and still active in that fraternity to this day. Let's fast forward three years, where I am now a junior in college. Life is actually a huge mess right now. I've had my regretful experience with the gay apps, ******, in attempt to find someone to talk too. Since I'm still not out, I found out that it's hard to meet people if you're unwilling to send face pictures. So, regretfully, I have found myself sending face pics in attempt to meet new people. During this time was when I discreetly started experimenting. Throughout the process, I ended up meeting a guy that is a lot like me. Very fit, likes working out, and the whole nine yards. We've texted on and off for at least a year; never meeting face to face. Well, last night, he made the hour drive to come see me last minute. I was completely nervous, similar to the nerves going to high school prom for the first time. He picked me up at my friends house. He had his female friend with him, for security since we've never met before. It was a bit awkward with her there, but all I could think about was him. She of course wanted to go to a bar, and we just wanted to talk and hangout. Mainly because that was the first time we've ever seen each other. My body lost control when I saw him. We took her to a bar to see a friend for a minute, leave him and I in the car. We kissed for the first time while sitting in the car waiting for her. I lost control. I don't think I have ever felt anything like that before. We finally dropped his friend off at a bar to meet up with some more of her friends. We came back to my place, thankfully my roommate wasn't home. I'll let you do the math about what happens now, but the year of anticipation was brought out in the sheets. Here is the problem: 1) I don't want to be gay; I don't want my family to hate me and I most definitely do not want people to look at me differently 2) he really really sucks at texting. It takes him awhile to text back, so it's hard to have a long conversation. 3) he lives an hour away; be both go to different colleges Now that you know my story, I would like to know what you think and any advice that you have for me.
Hello intincrus! It might be scary to figure out your true orientation. Unfortunately, you cannot really change your orientation. People who claim they can "cure" you are con artists, it's simply not true. I understand that you don't want your family to hate you. But you should also be living healthy and happily. Why would you think people look at you differently? Some people do, some people don't. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Usually, when I think about it, I think about the worst case scenarios. They don't come true. At least, not for me. For 2), some people don't like texting. It's part of your personality, there's not much you can do to make him change that. Saying you want him to text you more sounds like forcing him, I wouldn't want to do that if I were you. Some people are seperated by more than 1 hour. If you can't handle it, then don't be in the relationship. But if you can overcome it, do it. I honestly think that 1 hour is not even that much. You could frequently meet up, right? Cheers, Quem
