I know this question is the single most common one posted here, but here goes: I used to just assume I was straight. Then I thought I was gay. Then I was straight again. Lately I've been considering that I might be bisexual. I'm attracted to both sexes, but women more than men. I have a friend, my best friend of many years who I am DEFINITELY attracted to. But there's a girl too. I want to "try" both. But I can't do it. I just don't know who I am or what I am supposed to do. That's why I am here. Help.
You say you can't try both. Why not? I hate to say it, but there's no better way to know whether you're really bisexual than to experiment with both sexes and see what you like. Eventually, you pick up on a pattern: "y'know, sex with women is ok...but sex with men is fucking *fabulous*" or vice versa...or "y'know, sometimes sex with a guy really hits the spot...but other times I find myself craving a woman's touch...they're both amazing; just in different ways and at different times." And no, there's no lock on the closet. You can come out any time you're ready.
I guess I'm just afraid of the answer, but maybe you're right. I may turn to the old "try before you buy" method. But my problem is that I'm in High School. Even in today's world, walking into a room and saying "By the way guys, I'm bi." has a certain stigma against it. I feel like people still don't understand quite how bisexuality works. Gay, they get. Lesbian, they get. (At least in the better circles) Bisexual seems to be misinterpreted as "undecided" Maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my impression.
I have been in the same mind set as you.. Not sure who I was, knowing I am attracted to both, but feeling like I needed to choose between straight or gay.. I finally have come to the conclusion that liking both men and women is nothing to be ashamed about.. It just means we have opened up the number of potential pool of love interests to us.. I think if you think you like both, then that is something you should not be worried or ashamed about.. It is who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. You don't need to definitively label yourself till you are ready.. Or if at all.. Just know that there are lots of people here who understand and know what you feel.
Yes, there is a stigma, but you don't have to announce yourself if you don't want to. Here's an article that might be useful: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/23/m...c-quest-to-prove-bisexuality-exists.html?_r=0 We all crave certainty but things are never certain. As biAnnika said, you've got to test the waters and see what feels right. I'm hardly a shining example of anything but I can say that not trying anything is guaranteed to produce no results whatsoever
First of all, it's *almost* equally unacceptable to go into a room and say "by the way, guys, I'm straight." So I'm not sure about your concern here. I've never done that in my life...is there a reason you feel a need to announce your sexuality more than everyone else does? But second, if people *misunderstand* your sexuality, isn't that their problem, rather than yours? Does that not give you an opportunity (one you needn't take if you don't want to, but an opportunity nonetheless) to educate them and let them know the tired stereotypes are just that? There are ugly stereotypes about virtually every group to which you can belong. And besides, it's not like you're buying or choosing, am I right? You either are or are not bisexual. You'll take some time maybe to figure out if you are...but in the end, if you are, you are. It's not like you can say "oh, I don't like the stereotypes...I think I'll turn this one down."
