I'm a 20 year old girl and I've been worried about being a lesbian for about 10 years. I get severe anxiety thinking about it and I'm hoping that talking about it might make me feel better, but I'm going to try and be brief. I've been with both girls and guys and currently I am with a man. When I'm in public I notice girls more than guys. I never even got in the habit of checking guys out. When i see a pretty girl, especially one with a low cut top I feel a clenching feeling in my chest. My heart beats fast and I feel hot. I also feel very very panicked. I don't feel anything like that when I try to check out guys though sometimes I think they're attractive and like my heart beats faster. I feel like I have loved men before and I could fall in love with the man I'm with now. I also could probably fall in love with a women if I was currently interested in one. The one time I had sex with girls I was incredibly drunk and also anorexic at the time. I was turned on but also scared out of my mind, I almost kicked one of the girls in the face! It was mostly experimental and not a great experience for me though that may have been the circumstances. The times I've had sex with men I had never really been satisfied either. I had never had sex with a guy I was in a relationship with before now and they have not been great experiences. Now when I'm with my guy I enjoy our sex and I like pleasing him but I've never been completely satisfied by him and I worry that sometimes I'm not as into it as I should be and I'd be more into it if I was with a girl. Thanks for reading
