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Gay guys: Is this normal?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by EpicConfusion, Sep 19, 2014.

  1. EpicConfusion

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    So for some time now I've been interested in men. From beginning of my life I was always interested in girls. I honestly don't know if it was because I thought it was normal, or if I truly liked girls. I had crushes, I've had girlfriends, but it's never progressed farther than a kiss on the lips. It's possible my feelings were nothing more than friendship that I mistook for something more, even though I got boners thinking about them and stuff like that. I fantasised about girls, I watched straight porn. Then about a year ago, I started to have fantasies about bottoming in gay sex. I thought I was bisexual for a while. Then I stated to consider being gay as an option, and it had never before crossed my mind. It just made so much sense though. Lately my feelings towards men have become stronger. I'm still awkward around "pretty" girls though, and when I look at them, I can't tell whether what I'm feeling is an admiration for the beautiful female form, or a sexual attraction. Guys I find attractive are quite infrequent.

    I'm just wondering if it's weird to have such a sudden change? I'm just so confused. Does this sound straight or gay? I really want to be with a man and fall in love, but I don't think I'm interested in women. I can't even tell anymore.
     
  2. If you were to put labels aside you sound like you are more interested in men right now. I think you should go with that and not wonder about this "awkward feeling" around girls. You said yourself that you want to fall in love with a guy so I think you should experiment with that. If you do however find a girl that you are attracted to - I mean someone you can see dating and having sex with then you can choose to experiment with it if you want.

    Also, yes, sexuality can change and some people do fluctuate, especially bisexuals. I know have been doing it my whole life.
     
  3. Skov

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    I don't think it's too uncommon. It sounds super similar to what I went through.

    It makes sense too. We are pretty much conditioned to be straight.
     
  4. bwayinabox

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    I have the EXACT same things, except I see guys I find attractive quite frequently.

    ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2014 at 11:36 PM ----------

    But I've 'known I was gay' for some time and just recently realised that I find girls 'pretty'. But my feelings towards guys has skyrocketed as well.
     
  5. Anonymous777

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    When I was a child, I used to fatasise about having girlfriends, marrying a girl. Back then, I never had a real crush on anybody. But heterosexual relationships seemed to be "normal" to me, so I wanted to have a "normal" relationship with somebody.

    When I was a teenager, I realised that I was attracted to guys. It took me a while to accept myself and it took me even longer to realise that I'd like to come out of the closet someday and have a normal relationship with a guy.

    It's normal that we want to be what society imposes us, but what really matters is being happy.
     
  6. EpicConfusion

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    Thanks guys :slight_smile: I appreciate the feedback. Nice to know I'm not alone in this.
     
  7. shadowraptor

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    ^This. Just follow your heart, do what feels right for you. If you date a girl, that's great. If you date a guy, that's great! Don't worry about categorizing yourself.(*hug*)
     
  8. Mrcake

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    Hmm yep this is actually a super common thing, and I have struggled with it for years now. It wasn't until this past year that I truly have felt more desire to pursue a gay relationship. I have feelings for women also, but not sexually. I also get that "Oh you're so pretty!" feeling with women. I think that it is heteronormativity that makes us want to have heterosexual relationships. Sometimes you just have to look deeper and try out a relationship/try doing some non heteronormative actions. Once I tried pursuing a homosexual relationship, I realized that I was gay. I am still accepting who I am today, and I am still pursuing a homosexual relationship. It's very hard to think that I could be with a pretty woman and be normal, but I wouldn't be happy - that's why you see older men who have suppressed their true feelings and have children right now...they are old and realize that they are actually gay. Don't be that guy, try something new out and see if it works for you!
     
  9. JustJJx

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    THANK YOU! You just made me feel better about all the things rushing through my head ^_^
     
  10. nerdbrain

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    Nobody is going to be able to confidently tell you what you are. However, I think it's safe to say that most straight guys don't go through this kind of questioning process.

    My advice is to find ways to experiment in a way that's comfortable for you. Otherwise you'll end up like me -- still confused, but a lot older :slight_smile:
     
  11. maselalala

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    I went through the same thing.
     
  12. Celatus

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    Hey I'm sorta experiencing that, you're not alone man!
     
  13. Blossom85

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    I went through a stage of questioning whether I was straight or a lesbian, cause I do still find men attractive, but I do have more of a yearning I guess I would call it to form a. Ind and a connection with a woman, fall in love and be with a woman.. Even though I would prefer to be with a woman, I still consider myself bisexual as I am not ruling out the possibility of being with a man if I find someone I can connect with and bond with in the same way that I want a woman. For me, that feels more right then excluding one or the other, but it is your own personal journey and how you feel about it.. You may still find women nice to look at but just not want to be with them in a relationship and that is fine..

    That is more or so how I feel about men right now. I got too stressed when I tried to figure out if I was just straight or not and it make me feel sick and just gave me lots of headaches.. Now I have come to accept and be happy with my bisexuality, I am much happier, that is just a journey each of us have to take to truly find what makes us happy.. But I do agree with one statement here, that we are all conditioned to think we are straight when that is not always the case.

    Just go with your gut and your heart and do what you feel is right for you and what you feel will make you happiest.
     
  14. EpicConfusion

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    Honestly I don't think I would like being in a hetero relationship (at least sexually) because I would prefer to be on the receiving end if you get my meaning.
     
  15. Anonymous777

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    Then, do what feels right for you, as shadowraptor said. It's perfectly fine. :thumbsup:
     
  16. Celatus

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    Lol epicconfusion I get what you mean.