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I feel like I'm so close to understanding... yet so far

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by alexisconfused, Sep 22, 2014.

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  1. alexisconfused

    alexisconfused
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2014
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Sometimes, I really feel like I've finally got the answer and I feel this urge to just shout "I'm gay bitches! That's right, I like girls. I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay!" because that's who I feel like I am, and it feels like it's alright, but then someone says something even slightly homophobic, and I feel sick. Sick from the thought of being a lesbian. Sick of me. And I imagine a life with a guy, and it seems okay. I know on paper this sounds like bullying and like I'm being influenced by these bigots to fit in, but it's not what it feels like... help?
     
    #1 alexisconfused, Sep 22, 2014
  2. FancyGummy

    FancyGummy
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
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    357
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    Location:
    MA, UNITED STATES, FURTHER DETAILS UNKNOWN
    It sucks. Really, really sucks. It's as if there's "two yous", one of which greatly enjoys punching the other you in the face whenever it gets bold. I know the feeling. But in the end, it really is just fear. And to quote FDR, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
     
    #2 FancyGummy, Sep 22, 2014
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