I'm a 17 year old guy, but before I get straight to it, I'll start off with a crash course of my life. So, what is my problem here exactly? Is my lust for older men an excuse for them to be my "father figure"? Do I want them to "take care of me" and to make me feel important? Is the fact that I broke up with my girlfriend another reason for me to believe that girls aren't for me? (Sound contradictory but that's how confused I am) If the opportunity presented itself, would I do it? In a perfect would I would say yes. But in reality, in the real world, I have no fucking clue. I think that once I give in, it would be the pack of cigarettes that I would need to fulfill my addictions.
I can't say your exact issues... You have to examine the emotions you get when you think of being with an older man. I am not a man, but for me.. I had sexual fantasy about guys before, but when actually with a man.. I emotionally didn't like being with a guy sexually. I think i wanted to believe i liked men and could be with them, but in reality i didn't like being with them sexually. I could love them and care for them deeply (which is a friendship emotion), but i couldn't be with them sexually. I can't describe it other than a repulsion. I would be saying in my mind "when will this be over?" So in all honesty you may not truly find yourself until you express your desires. And it is okay to like someone older even sexually...doesn't have to mean you are trying to have a "father figure." It could be many things.. You relate to them better emotionally and/or mentally. Hope my experience helped a little...and let time tell..just follow your heart..be yourself..and then you will know.
