This is my first time visiting/posting on this forum, so forgive me if I say anything that’s not PC or if I offend anyone, it isn’t my intent if I do. I think that I’ve come to the realization that I am a woman on the inside and I kind of don’t know what to do about that. I’ve always felt a bit out of place in my male body and certainly out of place in typical male gender-roles/stereotypes. I often times daydream about what it would be like if I was a woman and how I’d feel with that body/gender. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can almost feel my female parts, as if they are hiding beneath or under my actual body. I’m not attracted to men, so I’ve always sort of thought of myself as a lesbian trapped in a male’s body. And that’s not a joke or a play on words either, I literally feel like I should be a woman who dates/loves other women. Part of the reason I’m posting here and am feeling so confused about things right now is because of a dream I had last night. It was a very odd dream and I don’t remember the whole context of it but in the dream I was a female (I know this because I went to the bathroom in the dream, TMI I’m sure, lol). The part that’s really got me flustered is how natural it felt and how happy I was about the sudden change in gender. I felt alive, like I was always meant to be a woman and for the first time ever, I got to be me… just me, the woman. Now couple this with some somewhat embarrassing (maybe I shouldn’t be embarrassed?) childhood fascinations with dressing up like a girl, putting makeup on like a girl, and painting my toenails like a girl, and you can see why I’m beginning to realize that maybe I was supposed to be a female. Having said all of that, I don’t really know what to do. I’ll be honest and say that the thought of going through a transition is terrifying to me. Whether it should be this way or not (or whether I agree with it or not) it is easier to be a male in this world than a female, and particularly easier to be viewed as a hetero male (I have a wife) instead of a transwoman. How have others dealt with this? I’m not super uncomfortable being a male (I’ve been doing it for almost 29 years now) but what if I don’t want to pretend anymore? What if I want to just be the female I was always meant to be? I guess I don’t really know what I’m asking, other than I’m hoping to find someone who could maybe help me process what’s happening to me. Am I transgender, or am I just having a weird week? How did you know you were trans? Is it uncommon for a person to go 29 years before accepting/realizing they are trans?
Actually, I posted this in the wrong forum but can't figure out how to edit/move/remove it. anyone know how to delete a thread?
