1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Will he still love me?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by KaydenWidz, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. KaydenWidz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Hey Im Kayden, Just came out as trans*(FtM). Im pansexual and happy with my boyfriend, cis-gendered straight guy. See my problem? Im not planning on getting the bottom surgery because thats not as much a part of my disphoria....wow I cant spell. XD anyway, Im worried he will leave me. He did say he'd try, but he thinks its a phase and that I'll snap out of it. I admit i had the same fear, but as I try harder and harder to pass as male, I like how I feel when doing so. I love him so much I am willing to give up that happiness to be with him. So...any advice on helping either of us? I dont want our 10+ year relationship to end.
     
  2. GrumpyOldLady

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2014
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    95
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm in the same boat so not much advice, just commiseration. I haven't come out to my husband about my gender questioning yet besides the painfully obvious. I'm not sure I want to rock the boat that much. I suppose I'm hoping to sort of stealth into it by going androgynous.

    I know it sounds trite, but you're both still young. I assume no children are involved yet? Once children are involved, everything gets more complicated. You still have time to take things slowly, see how he reacts as you look more male.

    At some point (not necessarily now) you'll have to ask yourself ... which would you regret more? Losing him, or giving up your gender?

    If you truly feel as if you're giving up your happiness for him it'll probably cause problems down the road. In the end, you're the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life.