So here's my story... I'm a freshman in college this year and I'm in the process of becoming a member of this fraternity on campus. I'm friends with all of the older brothers but I'm just.. obsessed with one of them. I don't even think I've felt like this with a girl before. I love being around him, I think he looks amazing, he's so friendly, and I just can't stop thinking about him. I honestly have no idea what to do, considering he IS gay. I should mention that I've been attracted to girls all my life and still am. I'm not attracted to other guys though, just him.
Welcome to EC. You're definitely in the right place. This may not be what you want to hear, but there are quite a few guys who go out with girls, enjoy sex with them, and it seems like everything's hunky dory... and then, one day, they come across a guy who just takes their breath away. And for those who seize the moment and go for it, often they find they're absolutely in love, that the sex is amazing, and the feelings are much more intense than they ever were with girls. In other words... they're attracted to guys (or at least, *a* guy). It can really mess with your head, especially if you've put a lot of value in identifying as straight. But at the end of the day, what really matters is that you enjoy your life, live it fully, and experience love in the best way you can. So one possibility is to simply explore the idea of a relationship with him. I'm sure that sounds scary, but the absolute worst that will happen is you'll try it, you won't connect with it, and that will be that. But if you try it and it's a great and amazing connection, then you've opened up to a level of love and affection and connection you've never felt before, and that's pretty much a good thing. I wouldn't at this stage worry about what label to attach to it. I'd just -- if your heart is leading you in this direction -- go with it and see where it takes you.