HOCD or gay?

So I'm 17 and female. Iv'e never been diagnosed but I know Iv'e had mild OCD since I was around 9. My friend has diagnosed OCD and I see the things she does and I recognize them in myself.

Right so when I was younger I was a tomboy and I wanted to be a boy I guess. (I remember trying to pee standing up once). Anyway, I had a bi-curious phase at around 14. Now I never remember having huge crushes on anyone as a kid. I remember having one on Zac efron in HSM. But I would go into my room and pretend to be him. I have Malidaptive Daydreaming and I am always a gay male character in my head and have always been a male character in my head. So I don't know if I like boys bc the character does etc.

Anyway, after my Bi-Curious phase I went back to liking boys. I mean boys can be HOT. However, I could see a boy in good clothes and be like "he's hot" but the net day he could be in gross clothes and I would not find him attractive. But apparently a lot of girls think this way. Onto the liking girls thing. Sometimes I will think that I can't be 100% straight. The first time this happened (besides in my Bi-Curious phase) was after I went out with this boy a few months ago. He wasn't the best looking guy but he made me laugh and I thought why not give it a try? So we went to this hill thing and we were kissing and I was like ewwww and he was touching me (not inappropriately, I said he could) He was just holding my stomach and my bum and he stroked in between my boobs and I hated it.

I got home and told my mum and she asked if I was a lesbian. I said no but I stopped and thought about it. About how when I got drunk I made out with a girl in the bushes more than once. And how I could only get wet with a boy when I was 14 (Over the clothes touching) and when I was drunk at a party and got fingered. And I was on Google for over a week stressing about it. I was walking around and asking myself if I found people attractive. Then after a while I was like "No, I'm straight and I need to shut up". But it keeps coming and going. Like I compare a picture of myself to a cute boy and a cute girl to see my feelings etc. I also watch porn to see what I get turned on by the most.

But it gets confusing because I do want to kiss girls and I do want to sleep with them and have a girlfriend but I don't know if it's just my head telling me I do. I saw a GIF of two girls around my ages tickling each other and one of two girls kissing and I want to do that. But I don't find girls hot like I do with boys.

I'm also confused because I see a boy and think wow you're hot but if we went on a date I would lose all interest. But, I get really awkward around ANY boy that isn't a close friend/family member. I also have really low self confidence and I kind of thing being with a girl would make me not as awkward bc I'm a girl too but idk.

Lastly, there is this girl who iv'e known for a few years and a few months ago she told me she liked me and I said I didn't even know what I was. But I saw a picture of her and a boy the other day. I don't know if it was an OCD obsession or not but a few days after seeing the picture I started obsessing and then I had a dream that the boy was her boyfriend and I was jealous. I now know that he is in fact her boyfriend and i'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm kind of sad won't get to date her :/

I'm so sorry this was so long. Thank you to anyone who read it all and answers the question. (*hug*)