Missing piece to closing the gap? (Sorry It's long)

So About a month ago when school started up again I started to notice guys which wasn't out of the ordinary for me except usually I suppress the thought of "oh he's cute" because it always ends up coming down to "...but he has a penis". and lately it's bee conflicting with the part of me that's identified as a lesbian since I was 14. So needless to say I've been having thoughts such as, "is it fair to rule out men just because of their genitals?" and "Is it more than that? Am I just incapable of connecting with a guy emotionally and mentally in that way?" etc.

Well Back in June/July I hung out with an old friend from grammar school. We weren't super close back then but he contacted me for some reason and we wound up hanging out. I think he was trying to feel out if there was a relationship there but regardless of orientation I'm not into him that way. Anyway, so we wound up talking about people from our past and this boy I "dated" back in grammar school from 4th to 6th grade(lets call him bob) came up into conversation. I don't remember exactly what was said but the guy I was hanging with (lets call him Joe) tells me Bob's name on Facebook, which is apparently not listed as his actual name. Now I don't remember how the conversation led to Joe telling me this information but I made a mental note and mulled over contacting him to rekindle some sort of friendship.

Unfortunately I forgot all about it, including Bob's Facebook name. So, now its months later and I see one of Joe's posts, and I recognize one of the comments was Bob's. So naturally curious, I click on it and start looking through Bob's pictures and I thought to myself, "Eh why not add him now that I know where to find his profile?" and as I started looking through his pictures I couldn't help but notice that the goofy looking kid I knew in 6th grade grew up- and got handsome. So I start to grow nervous wondering what my real intentions would be if I added him. I had no idea if he was single, or what my motive really was. All I knew was that this kid was my first love and my last (as far as guy loves go). Since him I only dated two other guys in middle school for a month or less and it was around 8th grade I came out as Bi (as a cushion), and in that summer lesbian. So needless to say I haven't dated a guy since I was 14, but I've had plenty of female relationships. So I know I love women, that was never the issue.

But as I look at this guy on the screen I start to think how he might be the missing link. What if I could rekindle some sort of a relationship then maybe I'll know more about my attraction to men. Maybe I can close the gap on whether or not I can emotionally connect with a guy again or not- I mean obviously I had before with him but I never knew why it worked with us (Granted we were young). Yet at the same token I'm just telling myself that its just a friend thing, that I want to see how hes doing. Basically I am very much conflicted.

He has since added me and I messaged him. We've talked a bit and the conversation felt natural to me. I don't want to come across as flirting, but I don't want to let the opportunity I've made slip by either. I'm not even sure where to being because I don't know what I'm looking for. I want answers I don't have to long pondered questions but I'm not sure if this is the right way to do it. Any suggestions?

 

yeah I thought about that. I don't want to use someone. Maybe at the very least get to know him again and just see where that goes. Although since I made this post I haven't heard back from him so who knows it might not matter anyway. (granted its been less than 12 hours and people do get busy but we'll see)