Evening all, I really need help. I'm so terribly confused! For as long as I can remember, I've known that I've been at least Bi, but as I've been going through my counselling, my lesbian thoughts and feelings have been growing out of control. I am currently in a heterosexual relationship and I really do love my man to pieces, but am I actually -in- love with him? I don't really know. When I think of anything sexual, emotional, physical, intimate, public... Anything... I think of women. I'll share a secret with you - I always have. But this has never stopped me having numerous boyfriends and enjoying their company, and the sex - it's been good. Yet I can't shake these thoughts, desires and an almost longing to be with a woman and it all boils down to one question which is rattling around in my head... Am I gay? If I'm honest with myself, I think that it is a huge possibility, but there is one factor which crushes most of everything else. When I'm upset or sad or just generally feeling down, I crave the feeling of nuzzling and burying my head into a big, strong, hairy masculine chest. Which is possibly the straightest thing ever. Ugh, can someone please shed some light on all this?! Help me! Until next time...
It sounds like you are bisexual. You say you are attracted to both women and men. You don't need to choose! But sexuality is something that can be fluid - you don't need to pick a label unless you want too. And if you are in a good relationship, that's great! Nothing in your relationship needs to be compromised as long as you are attracted to him, regardless of what other genders you like! And I totally get you. Girls are amazing. So can guys be. You shouldn't feel scared thinking about you sexuality. There's no real need. The best thing too dois thinking that it's fine either way, and then try to listen to your heart and your feeling when you think of different genders. You can only truly know if you have allowed yourself to understand yourself. But I totally get why it can be stressful - after all, it's a large chunk of your identity changing. And that can be hard to deal with.
That's just the problem though... I'm not attracted to him. I love being with him and the cuddles we share, and yes, I enjoy sex. But not until he's actually either licking me out or hitting the G. Foreplay doesn't exist and although he's good looking, there's no physical or sexual attraction. It's the same with all men, I can appreciate when one looks nice, but they just don't rock my boat at all. I enjoy having sex, but it's usually over very quickly and I can only get off if I grind on top of him and get a proper clit rub Yet if I'm alone with my toys and thinking of women I have the most intense orgasms ever! Inside and out... I think I might be starting to answer my own question over here... Bloody hell...
