I don't know how, I don't know how I got so attracted to her. Why do I like her so much. Was it her constant flirting with me and the way she acted towards me made me fall in love with her? She gave me false hopes. We were so good. I looked forward to sitting with her and playing with her everyday. Ever since she found out, she acted different and i felt distant towards her. It hurts like mad but there's nothing I can do. If I talk to her things will get awkward. I don't even know. We still have a year in the same class next year and I really want to resume to those times. My friends said that I could let her go. My parents object to lesbian relationships anyways. But every time I see her I cant help but fall in love with her all over again. No one had made me felt this way before. I tried letting her go. But I cant help but sneek looks at her when she aren't looking. Its hard. I dont even know if she's les. Its a little rant as I have like no one to rant to irl. So I'm sorry
I know it's really hard Hun.. The best way to move forward is to try to either let her go.. Or have a conversation with her.. I think you need to at least talk to her, and ask her why she is acting so differently towards you.. Maybe act like you don't know why she is and just say you are confused about why she was flirting and now she hardly speaks to you and is distant.. I think I have said this before to you.. And the more you talk of her, the more I think you need to get closure at least.. So if you speak to her, it might help you.. I know when my ex stopped talking to me after she broke up with me, it left me feeling like I didn't have closure and it made it really hard for me to move on.. I still don't have closure, but have decided to just move on anyway.. For you.. You can get closure at least by talking to her.. It's not gonna be get better for you unless you talk to her or you make a decision that you are just gonna realize that you need to move on so you can find someone who wants to be with you. There is no point going about our lives fixated on one person cause it is not going to make us happy in the end, you need and deserve someone who will love you and want you.. Also.. I think you need to take your parents opinion of same sex relationships out of the equation.. If being with a woman makes you happy, then don't let anyone else's opinions stop you from going after the one you want.
Perhaps talking to her would be the best choice.. but what if things get awkward and I have to move on? How am I gonna do that?
If when you do talk to her, and she isn't okay with it all, them you know nothing will come out of it and it might give you the push to move on.. You move on because it's what you have to do.. If I hadn't move on from my ex, then my life would be miserable two years later and I would have missed out on enjoying my life with my family. I do things I don't wanna do all the time cause it is what I have to do for myself to make my life better. When you don't know either way, that is when you are more likely to stay in limbo, hoping and praying she will come around.. If you know for sure she isn't.. Then it makes it more bearable to move on because you know you don't have a future with her and there could be a chance she might like you, but she isn't ready to admit it yet or admit she likes girls.. But you will never know till you talk to her.
It's up to you if you wanna take that step of talking to her, only you can make that decision. I just think it is that or you just find other things in your life to focus on rather then this one girl who at the moment is making your life miserable. I would just simply ask why doesn't she want to spend time with you anymore, that you have the impression you did something to upset her and it's making you sad cause you used to be closer. It's up to you what you do though.
