So I am very confused. All my life I had crushes on girls and guys. I have dated guys throughout my life but when I was with men they did not make me completely happy and would be so sexual and I did not like that (because of certain things of my past). Now, I am in my first ever relationship and I feel like I have gone home after years of being out on the street. I feel so comfortable and able to be myself around her and sexually I feel more secure and happy. I am confused because I still can see myself having crushes on guys and wanting to have sex with them (if I was single)... even though I enjoy being with a woman instead?? I am only 21, and I am taking big steps to finally understand myself and I want advice or thoughts because I do not know what to do? I want to have a life that I am happy with and I want to be with a partner that will make me happy. Although, just for the fact of knowing myself, I want to know if I am bisexual or lesbian?
The Kinsey Scale goes from 0 (completely straight) to 6 (completely gay) and acknowledges that romantic attraction can differ from sexual attraction. It sounds like perhaps you are Kinsey 4-6 romantically, but maybe more 4-5 sexually? Does that help? I identify as about a Kinsey 4, period. But I also acknowledge that I am *much* more romantically attracted to women. I can see myself having sex with a guy occasionally (I see this clearly...even wistfully, at this point)...but I cannot envision ever settling down with one (let alone marrying one *gaugggh!*).
I agree that you're bisexual. You just like each gender in different ways. It's totally normal; I'm the same way.
I have to echo biAnnika and others--if you are attracted to men and women, you're bisexual. Your attractions don't have to be 50/50 to be bisexual; you can have a preference, and said preferences may even change over time. Congrats on your new relationship, by the way. I wish you both love and happiness!
