Im a 15 year old female. I have been dating guys since the fourth grade but just this year I started to think I may be interested in other girls. I find girls attractive and catch myself looking at them more than guys. I could never picture myself spending the rest of my life with another woman but I think thats because its so frowned upon. I couldnt imagine telling my bestfriends and familys that I may like girls. Im discouraging myself because Im afraid of what others will think. My 2 bestfriends were talking shit on my other bestfriend because they think she is lesbian nd I go along with it because I dont want them to think Im lesbian and feel weird around me. i think shes lesbian tko because she has dropped may hints but I feel as if shes scared to come out because her family ia very religious and friwn upon such thing. My bestfriend that everyone thinks is lesbian just so happens to be very attractive to me. When we were in the 7th grade we humped with clothes on and made out. In 8th grade I brought it up and said id do it again but she said she wouldnt, she said she'd laugh if we did. I fanitisized about her too. I cant picture myself spending the rest of my life with a women but Im very sexually attracted to them. I crave sexual activities with another girl but Im too afraid to tell anyone. So what Im getting to is, am I lesbian or just bicurious? Should I approach my friend?
Can you picture the rest of your life with a man? Personally, I can't picture the rest of my life with *anybody*. It's not that I'm not interested in love or sex (trust me, I am), I just find it hard to imagine being older than 30, nor can I imagine a partner (of any gender) over 30. Just because I can't imagine these things doesn't mean they'll never come to fruition. Another thing you might want to consider is the possibility you're sexually attracted to males and females, but only romantically attracted to males. That's okay too, and not unheard of. And of course, there's always the possibility you're bisexual. Lastly, and it doesn't seem like I need to tell you this, but it may be best to keep all this hidden IRL. It sounds like you live in a community that's unfortunately very hostile towards it's LGBT members. If you have any questions or other pieces of info, please share and maybe we might be able to help some more. Also, if you ever want to talk, I'm open. <3
Hello there. I would say from what you described, you are curious. As you said you could not see yourself spending the rest of your life with a women. But only you can truly define your sexuality. And I think it is important to point out that societal ideas and your own personal ideas might not match up. That is perfectly OK as long as your happy, not hurting anyone, and safe. Also being sexual is natural just make sure if you are with another women, you disclose all of your intentions. Regarding the friend approaching her would be a good idea if you felt comfortable and above all safe doing so.
For a start, I think you need to start defending your friend from the other two. Be a stand up person. Would you stand by while they made cruel comments about a disabled person or racist comments? It doesn't mean you belong to said minority, it just means you won't put up with discrimination. If you're not ready or sure you're a lesbian and if they "insult" you by accusing you of being one, tell them to stop being so small-minded and that you're all supposed to be friends, so they should act like it. Maybe being her champion will show her a side of you that sparks her interest.
