I've had two or three encounters with women (never got very serious) and each time I've liked it. For a year I've been absolutely certain I'm lesbian. Then last week I was in a friend of mine's house, and we were sitting on the floor of her study room. We started to eye each other some and about five minutes later we were kissing. This bothered me slightly because in the past she'd been very loud to me about how straight she was. Thirty seconds in I had my hand on the doorknob and I was actually PULLING my face away from hers. Now for the past week everything about women is repulsing me and if I even think about them or look at them with any thoughts other than regular ones, I get the crawlies. Am I not gay or am I just THAT turned off by that girl?
I think you have a crush on your friend. You feel guilty of looking at any other girl than her. Like you're betraying her. You need to talk to your friend about what that kiss meant.
Ok, best thing to do (however hard this may be) is to forget playing the label game. Human sexuality is super-complicated. The best way we have of understanding it is by putting ourselves and others in boxes (Straight/bi/gay/lesbian) - but this is far from perfect. Is it possible to suspend your *label* for a while - and just think about who you *connect* to most? Who is it you fantasise about? Who is it who dominates your thoughts? Who can you not stop looking at? - those are the *really* important questions, not the label.
I would say you just got freaked out and need some time to process. You didn't mention how you felt about the friend before the kiss. I'm guessing there were no romantic feelings there. There's a possibility that you just thought she was using you as an experiment or whatever. You're head was screaming "SHE'S STRAIGHT" so you're temporarily turned off to all women because one woman did something unwelcome. Just give yourself some time. Ask yourself why you pulled away from her and you might figure out why it freaked you out. Maybe you do like her, or maybe your anger towards what she did is affecting your feelings toward everyone else.
I think you're right RainbowSocks. I feel like she was playing around but didn't want to say "I'm playing around and being weird now, don't mind me." I liked her for a little while when I first met her, but she isn't really my type and I'm surprised how easily I reacted to her kissing me. Today things started to be more normal, but just seeing her turns me WAY off.
Your avatar is super cute... Can you in a way just brush it off ? Like taking a long bath... and imagining all of this rinsing off with the water... I'd say simply don't project it outside of this experience... and I'd say its kind of natural to kiss back first if you're kissed... There are cute girls out there, and it probably feels good if you have an emotional connection to them
