In the process off rewriting my thoughts in the process of not gawking at girls in the process of checking out guys in the process of accepting myself it takes time I guess but it will happen optimistic because I know it will be for the best
How did you know were actually attracted to guys? I'm confused because I don't really know what it means to be "gay". Does fantasizing about other men make you gay, or is there more to it than sexual attraction?
I came out to myself a month ago, and am still on pathway of acceptance. I have a lot of work to undo, like confusedlost said, I need to rewire my brain. I spent 7 years putting up mental blocks, and growing automatic pathways to explain things away. But how did I realise? I removed EVERYTHING. For a week, I was home alone. Parents were on holiday. Friends not down at home, everyone at uni or away with jobs. And I had just quit my job. There was no-one and nothing around me to focus on, or behave a certain way for, and it was the first time ever it was just me and my my thoughts. And those 3 days gave me the clarity to see everything how it was. I might not have been attracted to guys, but that was only because I had all these barriers in place, but I also differed from most of my friends by never really having an urge to so things girls. I had done things with girls, and enjoyed them. But the initial action always started because they were interested in me, and I reciprocated because I thought it right. I never had an "oooh, I must have you now" thought about girls. And now, that I am accepting, I do have these thoughts about guys. ...yet to act on it though. But everything takes time. Anyways, that's how its been happening for me.
