To start off, I've never before thought of myself as anything besides straight, I've never had any crushes regarding girls ( at least not on this level emotionally), but didn't watch gay porn, haven't ever done anything with a guy(or a girl tbh), etc. A couple of days ago in one of my larger classes I moved seats and started talking to another guy who I've never really had a conversation with before. Within like 20 minutes I started getting butterflies in my stomach and suddenly was all nervous to talk to him, and excited/anxious too. I started thinking about him tons and noticed that I'm really happy/nervous/excited around him now. Like every thing he says or does involving me makes me all flighty and stuff. Which is why I'm assuming I have a crush of some sort on him. Now I literally think about him all the time and have no idea how to proceed with things. On top of that he's extremely friendly even though we've never been friends before and we're slowly becoming more comfortable with each other. I already have close male friends but I've got no romantic/sexual feelings towards them. But with this guy it's different. If I didn't have these feelings towards him I'd be really happy having him as a friend. And on top of that I'm not really sure if I'm gay since this hasn't ever happened before. The prospect of that scares the hell out of me though. So like, what should I do? Do I accept that I might be gay and try to see if I could start a relationship with him? Or should I just try to get closer to him and see if we could just be good friends? Advice would be appreciated. Oh, I'm a guy btw. Not sure if mentioned that.
Hello and welcome to EC! :icon_bigg It depends, I have a few questions. * Is the person gay/bi/not straight? If he is straight, a relationship is probably not a good idea. * Do you want to be in a relationship with him? Romantically? Sexually? Look forward to reading your reply. Cheers, Quem
I haven't seen any evidence of him being gay/bi/not straight. Besides whatever "signals" I feel like my brain made up to fit my ideal image of life. I guess romantically primarily, or like emotionally. This is just weird for me because I usually don't really take in peoples opinions or compliments and stuff. But whenever he does it its like my heart does a flip, or I cant stop smiling, or I get so nervous/excited that I like kick the table to calm down. All in all it's making me freak out.
Welcome to EC! It definitely isn't rare for LGBTQ people to not experience same-sex attractions until there late youth because there is often much more discovery and feelings to be sorted through for them than for heterosexuals that are coming to age. It does seem likely that you are experiencing homosexual attractions, but whether you are attracted to the same sex is only one factor into sorting through what you sexually might actually be. Although you have never felt as attracted to a girl as you have to this guy, would you say that you have ever experienced strong attraction to the opposite sex?
I had a crush on a girl once that made me nervous to talk to her and imagine her naked, but it didn't have anywhere near as much emotional weight or care that this one does. Like, if that girl had called me something mean and been harsh/serious I would've been OK. But if this guy did I'd probably start crying right there. I have this previously unknown desire to be closer to someone. And an incredible interest in getting to know them. Even if I end up no longer liking him romantically/sexually I'd REALLY want to be his friend... I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right.
It makes sense. I would take some time to become acquainted with the realization that you are attracted to the same sex for the time being. Then figuring out whether you are completely homosexual or actually bisexual further down the road. It doesn't have to be something that has to be rushed. In regards to this guy, there isn't too much point-by-point advice that can be given in situations such as this because it is all going to depend on whether the feelings are mutual or not. Honestly, if this is the first person that you have truly fallen for, you are most likely going to continue to grow more and more attached to them. It happens to all of us. There will come a time when you will have to decide whether you are going to go off of the assumption that he is not interested and attempt to get over these emotions by convincing yourself that nothing will every come of them, or you can make an effort to be upfront and pursue him further down the road. I would love to point out which of the roads is the best one to travel down, but it honestly is just a very subjective decision that only you can decide for yourself. I can give advice on how to go about either moving on or pursuing something more once you have made that decision for yourself, but it all depends.
Today we had class together and spent like 30 minutes talking and smiling at each other. We both kept making stupid jokes and laughing at them while also asking questions to get to know each other since we're newly friends. One of the times i was smiling he mumbled something in Spanish and told me that's what "dimples" was. So i was pretty much stuck in a high emotional.state for the rest of that class. I spent the entire time with "butterflies" going crazy in my stomach and a feeling that was a mixture of wanting to cry with happiness and puke. So any doubts I had are gone, I'm sure I have a crush on this guy, even if that makes me gay. If anyone has any advice, even if it's just on how to make friends, I'd greatly appreciate it.
