Kissed a straight Guy??

I posted a thread about this really really hot guy, I don't know if you guys can see my previous post, but I was infatuated with this gorgeous straight guy. I don't think he is really straight I think he is Bi since I hooked up with him last semester like 4 months ago we pretty much gave each other head (sorry for the sexual content).. Yeah he is a very stereotypical rich white kid, middle class, religious, racist, mean but funny, a lil homophobic well he just makes fun of gays a lot, but he doesn't really mean it, I know that for sure.. So he has a lot of girls around him, he is a fucking jerk but girls love him.. Anyways I tried not obsessing about him until 3 nights ago, he pushed me in the wall and kissed me. I was so confuse all over again.. It sucks that I keep thinking about him. But I was just wondering I really don't mind just having a sexual friends with benefits with him. I'm really not close with him at all. I just see him when we get drunk because he is a great friend of my best friend so we just tend to hang out and get drunk out of our minds together. No one really knows I'm Bi, I guess he sorta figured when we were comparing junks and he told me to hold his and yup it just happened.. I havent had sex with him yet.. lol yeah u heard the Yet part.. Because he said he has a free crib Saturday and invited me over. I don't know what to do..I dont know if he is gonna remember it.. I feel like he does, we pretty much just hook up with when are both intoxicated. Every time I see him I would act as if nothing happened at all. I think he is making the drunk part as an excuse to kiss me, just cause he is straight lol. I know it sounds like I'm very obsessive but I've have sexual non- attachment sex a lot of times.. But this guy is a lil different because he is the most good looking out of all the guys Im with ahahha.. I pretty much messed with him when my ex girlfriend and I broke up.. Anyways I dont know what to do? please help... Ask me any questions to explain any further thing that need some clarifying... Is it possible for straight guys to hook up with guys just cause they are horny? Anyways, if ever I want to have FWB with him how do I keep myself from getting attached to him... Also, I would know if I like him more than just a hook up if I have sex with him and still like him alot.. Im saying is that when I hook up with a guy, I usually just lose interest once I ejaculated.. I don't know if thats weird. Anyways, just wanted to post this for peoples opinion and also for me not to keep this all for myself.. It sucks not being able to talk to anyone at all about my sexuality. I like girls and guys..

 

@lemons123- Yeah I'm pretty confused about what he wants from me. No I already broke up with my girlfriend and I hook up with him 1 week later. Yeah thats what I'm gonna do.. Il try to be closer to him but I dont know what to do, I only see him at parties and we would end up making out when we are alone.. Yeah he just seem to be a horny guy..

dapulu-
Yeah I'm like so infatuated by him..
Yeah he seem to be completely straight but we usually just mess around when there is no one around, I remember him being really drunk we were at my room and we were making out and someone knock at the door and he immediately turn around and faced the wall and pretended to be sleeping lmao I guess its a natural reaction for him.
Yeah I guess that wouldn't be too hard since this guy is an asshole.. But he is so good looking tho, well he is a abercrombie model, but it will be a big challenge as shallow as that sounds lol.. I think all he wants was is sex and I'm okay with that. I don't really want a boyfriend just someone to play with...

he doesn't really talk to me besides at parties.. Well I guess he would like me as a his FWB if we keep messing around.. Il let you guys know what happens

Im gonna see him at a party tonight.. but I don't think we will be able to do much.. He is going to be alone tomorrow tho and I think Im still coming over. Should I play hard to get tho.. I dont want him to lose interest lol But I do act like nothing happened tho. Il try my best not to be very interested ahaha

 

Jax12- Yeah, I still think he is straight, but just curious. Cuz he did performed oral on me, would a straight guy still do that? Well i sorta forced him to tho, Cuz when he asked me to touch his junk and give him head, I told him I will do it as long as he does it first.

Yeah I've been really horny, that week. But I had other sexual experiences with guys prior to having girl friends, but mostly with just straight guys. I dont know I seem to attract straight guys cuz I have a borderline straight personality and I also had feminine side, like Im very comfortable with it. I don't have expressing both sides.

So last Saturday, we didnt end up doing something because people are there, and he didnt seem to make a move with me. I dint make a move either. I don't know I guess I'll just try next time. I will have the whole year for that. He was really mean last Saturday tho, I dont know I hate this guy yet I am still deeply infatuated by him.. Its so weird, Is there any way I could get his Attention? Like how do I tell him to be FWB with him? I really want this guy to just notice me. I'm always left questioning whether he likes me or not.. Il update if we have a sexual encounter again (&&&)

 

So he invited me to his place last night.. and we were pre-gaming for a party, and ended up going to 2 different parties. and I went home with him.. and we had sex.. It was great.. I'm over thinking it a lil bit, What should I do what are the rules of FWB do I text him a day later or like say Hi sometimes? I don't know what to do.. I'd want it to happen but I just don't know how we are going to establish our relationship, do I just bring it up.. I wan't to be FWB with him but I also dont wanna seemed really desperate you know. I know he is gorgeous and everything but I don't wanna catch feelings and stuff. I like this guy and I wan't this to work I think he is the type to not get in a relationship, and I don't want one either. Also, I've hook up with him about 5 months ago, and it wasn't really to the next level you know.. Any tips on Do's and Don't for FWB relationship.. Also, what should I do to make this interesting and stuff... I hate how I can't talk to anyone about these kinds of stuff.. I wish I'd just be able to come out about my sexuality to everyone, so I'm not too stress about everything and life in general.. ):

 

So I haven't updated yet, we hooked up again 3 weeks ago, and I really try my best to be the one who doesn't get attached. Like I only usually text him when he text me first.. But I feel like I'm still in the losing end, he has way more in control of me.. The last time we hooked up we talked for like hours and I sorta develop this annoying feeling of liking him a little bit more, this is the first time we hooked up with out alcohol involved. And he was the one who texted me to come over.. I'm just confused, I haven't seen him much at all cuz finals are coming and we are both busy.. One time he wanted me to come over and I said I can't well he wanted me to come over the past two weeks but I wasn't able to.. I just wanna be in a lil bit of control. I feel like I always anticipate his text while he ignores mine lol I mean I tried texting him and no responses.. Should I ignore him too? Ughh I feel like this is not working at all because I think I'm developing feelings.. I remember seeing him in school and it just made me so happy it's crazy.. Is it to late to get detached? But I will see him in a lot of parties after finals are over also, I really don't want a relationship even if he likes me.. I just don't want to catch feelings and I am which sucks... I'm just gonna keep thinking he is an asshole.. Lol

 

So I haven't really talked to this guy for awhile now, I'm just trying to avoid him so I don't catch anymore feelings as I'm already crazy in a lustful way about him. I know that he is not completely straight for sure, so the tittle is not kissin a straight guy but a horny bicurious/straight guy hahaha

Well the thing is I really dont want a relationship, I want this guy so badly but I know it is just infatuation, because this guy is just seriously hot and he is not good for me. I know he is not capable of liking be back the way I want him to. So I'd rather not get so emotionally involve with him. Well, first of all this guy is a jerk and I think only wants sex nothing more. But yeah I can't fall in love with him.. Anyways I just need to figure out how to just avoid or not have feelings for him. I just hate the feeling of how I feel like I'm not good enough for him.So I was getting drunk with him and he made a comment about my looks that made me feel so insecure, I know I don't look bad but he was such a jerk for making that comment even though he was joking and teasing me. I sound like an emotional girl right now but it was bad imagine your crush just making fun of you especially your looks. It made me feel so insecure. Even though I know for a fact that he is just kidding cuz we hooked up a a couple of times after that.. lol Also,I seriously have been working out and getting abs for him. and I think its unhealthy. I think its ridiculous that I want to look really hot for him, which is working, I'm so into my self and dedicated bettering myself but then again I was doing it for him and not for myself. It sucks... Well at least I have to thank him for my body its been great so far lol. I wasn't fat to begin with but with these strict diet and healthy eating and working out I feel hot and beautiful. I send him snapchat from time to time and he invited me over but I denied it ahhaha.. I dont know what to do.. Any advice on what should I do?

 

Hey, yeah it's been awhile since we hook up and we just got back from college so I won't see him for another month.. Well yeah the last time I had sex with him I forgot if I mentioned I didn't have any alcohol at all, I didn't have even a sip so he knows I'm aware of what I was doing, and I think it's the same for him too, since it was around dinner time and I guess he had some beer but it wasn't that much.. We usually have more alcohol than that before we hook up but then that day we hook up with out it.. )) After that we sorta have an intimate talk like I was able to get to know him and stuff but then his roommate came an hour later so I just pissed out..

Also yeah I'm normally confident with how I looks and I love myself.. It's just I think I'm super infatuated with this guy that it made me feel so insecure when he made a comment about my looks even when he was just teasing me.. But yeah now I've been working out and even got abs now to sorta be in his body type hahaha it's crazy how this guy influence to change my diet completely.. I really wanna look hot for him... And I send him snapchats of my body and I think he likes it.. But anyways I want him to notice me but I don't want to sound desperate.. But then again I don't want a relationship.. I don't know I'm just a confuse person.. And besides no one really even know about my sexual orientation it's not like it's that easy...

 

Yeah it's was really hard admitting to myself about my sexuality but I know I'm not straight and I guess accepting that is what truly matters.. And just be comfortable with it but I'm not so focus on labeling my self right now I just go with the flow.i never dated a guy before, only girls.. . And yeah trust me when he is hot, cuz he really is.. Lmaoo I know I'm just purely infatuated by his looks cuz his hot well. He did model for Abercrombie so yeah.. Anyways I know what I'm feeling is just lust for his looks because there is now way il be in love with such an awful personality I mean not really awful let's just say he is a jerk lol.. Anyways yeah I guess I really don't know whati want from this relationship.. He texted me yesterday and asked if I was going to be in college like 7 hrs away next week and see if maybe we could bang hahaah I was so tempted to buy a 100 dollar ticket and spend the night with him haha it's that crazy cuz I'm totally captivated and lustful just imagining him hahaha.. Anyways, I might really be falling for him or just infatuated.. Okay how about this, I dress up hotly every Wednesday because there's good chances il see him in campus hahaha and every time I see him I just get so aroused and happy lol it's so weird.. When I see him I pretend I don't and I let him approach me first ahaha and I like when he playfully hit me to get my attention <3 :bang::eusa_doh: now I can't wait for next semester.. How do I make him like me?

 

Lmao, yeah I think I have it really bad lol.. Yeah I guess it's typical and very human nature of me to want more.. Wanting something that you can't have makes it even more pleasurable.. I guess il just have to enjoy next semester because our paths gonna have to cross in most parties.. And he texted me a week ago that he wants to hook up.. But yeah I just feel like he just want me for my body I guess I just want us to be friends but then again I can't have him acting all nice to me or I might catch feelings lol.. I just don't like how he is in control of our relationship and I'm I the losing end because I'm the one who cares I want us to equally like each other. I don't even know if that make sense. I guess it's normal to be obsessive a lil bit cuz I admit I'm sexually attracted to him that I almost don't want other guys but him.. But I guess I was wrong because there's a lot of guys in the city and in fact I just hooked up with one.. He definitely doesn't have the best personality hahaha I mean he is an asshole I don't know if I said that already..

But I'm really thankful how I have someone to talk to here, I have a lot of friends and even most of my family are very supportive I just don't have the guys to talked to them about all these.. I can't even talked to my best friend about what I'm going through.. It's not like I'm depress and stuff but I just need someone to be able to express what I really feel and I feel like this forum is the best for me to deal with whatever I'm going through.. Thanks guys (&&&)