Ok so I came out to a really good friend of mine that I like transexual girls. She is the only person I feel I could talk to about this stuff. I am happily married still to this day with two young children to help out any advice anyone might have. I've been with three girls since I realized I had this affection. Never had an attraction to men until now. This started back in 2007 I would say when I realized I had an this attraction to transexuals. 2009 was my first time with a trans girl and I was a total bottom and loved it and wanted more but was too ashamed to go back. I think about 2010 or so I found another trans girl to get with. We saw each other off and on until last month when I was forced to move away. About 2 months ago while drunk I came out to a wonderful friend of mine about this. I hold this woman as a sister and I still go to her to ask for advice in this situation. She suggested maybe I'm gay or bi, after some research I decided that was not the case...rather that I was transoriented. In the past month or so I've began to question this though and have started to find myself watching gay porn and being perfectly happy with it. I've long watched transexual porn and always stayed away from the gay stuff but honestly it all turns me on now. What I don't like anymore is straight porn. I'm looking on advice on where go with this now. I'm away from home and my wife in San Antonio for military training for the next six weeks. If ever there was a time to find out the truth about myself it is now.
Thanks for sharing this with EC. It's very brave to talk about personal issues, even on a site like this. I respect that you admit to yourself that you are interested in certain types of people, as some people can feel scared to explore who they are, especially sexually. The process you're going through right now sounds a lot like what I went through back when I thought I might be just bi (except for the porn, since I'm only fourteen ). Of course, that doesn't mean at all that you're gay. Just make sure you don't sacrifice your happiness for those who don't understand you.
Thanks guys. I didn't mention that I did experiment one time with a guy but it didn't feel right and it was with someone who I was in no way attracted to. Right now I'm one text message away from trying again with another military guy(didn't mention that I'm military either). Seems pretty laid back and willing to be completely cool if I feel the need to not go forward with this right now. I grew up Mormon, I'm not anymore and I have a very serious issue with myself and religion. I completely believe in peoples rights to believe in whatever they want but that's not for this conversation just trying to give more background. I am a very masculine "normal straight guy". I'm a redneck and do all the normal manly things like hunting, fishing and wheeling. Growing up this way made it very difficult for me to consider the idea of being with another guy. Until recently I couldn't even stand the sight of two men kissing. I don't understand why the act of kissing between two men seems so gross to me while the act of sex seemed perfectly ok. Well maybe I'll learn something about me tonight or maybe I'll chicken out once again and keep wondering. ---------- Post added 11th Oct 2014 at 06:57 PM ---------- Thanks for moving this for me. Seemed more appropriate in this section.
I'm curious about what you think attracts you to transwomen. Is it the notion of their personal struggle and the bravery they show? Is it the notion of someone who has spent time in both gender roles? Are you as interested in post-op transwomen as pre-op? Or is it really the notion of a woman with a penis that does it for you? If it's mainly the latter, then I might suggest that you could be gay or bi, but finding it easier to explore your sexuality in a more "socially acceptable" form (i.e., via a *woman*...so still kindasorta within socially accepted bounds, even if the specifics are a bit "murky")? If this is the case I would also point out that as I understand it, what you are interested in isn't really transwomen, but specifically *pre-op* transwomen, or possibly even a class of people who are comfortable calling themselves "shemales" (male-identified, but like the idea of having a woman's body, often for fetishist reasons). Anything here resonate with you?
You bring up a good point. Honestly I find something very amazing about the female form with a penis. But all the time I was with this last girl I only viewed her as a woman and never thought of myself as bi or gay. Obviously there was more to it. I even sent her an email from Korea telling her I was thinking of maybe trying to be with a guy and she said "but thats a man, babe" so clearly she saw our relationship as a man and a woman even though most of the time it was her on top. After coming out to my friend Sam I explored the idea in my head that maybe I was just bi and the whole trans woman thing was an easier way for me to deal with it in my head. After doing a lot of research though it didn't make sense because I wasn't attracted to men at all. The research I did told me I was more likely Transoriented. Which seems to be a sort of new idea. But now that I'm giving the bi thing more serious though and looking to explore that it seems that maybe she and you biAnnika maybe right. I do though have a lot of respect for trans women. Enough so that I would never call them shemales because it's more of a derogatory term. These are women stuck in the wrong body. I do appreciate the struggle they go through. But I'm only attracted to pre-op trans women. Does that make it a fetish? I think a lot of people would say no, I know a lot of people would say yes though. Now I'm trying to explore the bi side of things, maybe really being with a guy for the first time and trying to make it better than last time. I'm writing this now because the guy who was supposed to come over earlier bailed on me and didn't tell me anything. Not going to be upset about it though maybe he is struggling as well and just decided not to come. I guess the next few days will hopefully yield some answers. I know among all things that I am not gay. I am so very attracted to women that there is no way I could be. I would understand if I am BI or if I am polysexual. I'm not trying to come off as smarter on this subject than anyone here because I truly am totally confused right now. I just have a very logical mind and I'm trying to work through this with what makes sense to me.
I would never refer to a transwoman as a "shemale" either. Neither they nor I consider them male, so that *would* be offensive. But that doesn't mean that the word is inherently derogatory toward *all* people. I've interacted with people who embrace that word to describe themselves. I have to say I don't completely get it, but they are male-identified (as opposed to transwomen)...the expression I've heard from them is wanting the "best of both worlds" (which I find offensive, since I hardly think that breasts, lovely as they can be, are the best of the feminine world). They say they are men, they feel like men, but they want to present as women, while retaining their original equipment. Ok. Does nothing for me, but there are apparently quite a few men out there (at least among bisexuals) who are really attracted to these people. But I think your experimental approach sounds exactly right. The best way to figure out exactly what it is that you're attracted to (in cases when it isn't crystal clear already) is to try different things, and see what sticks. Don't be confused...just try lots of things that sound appealing and pay attention to your response!
I know people don't figure out their sexuality in just a few days. After a week of pondering this all and trying to figure out where I stand, I realize I don't think I can stand the thought of being with a man anymore. Every time it's even a thought is when I'm drunk. Being an alcoholic it's something that happens quite often. I don't get drunk every night but when I do sometimes the whole guy thing appeals to me but no matter how drunk I get I can't get past the whole "that's a dude...."thing. I like gay porn but I don't enjoy any of the touching bits of it, just the raw sex part of it. I'm not sure what to make of all this but while I sit here typing this fairly drunk I realize I have other issues that might need to be addressed. Like my being an alcoholic which I promised myself I would never become. I know this isn't a forum for alcoholics so I'm not about for ask for advice on that. Whisky nights like tonight really just get me asking WTF am I doing? If this isn't something I'm not willing to tackle sober it's not something to tackle at this point in my life. I know I'll never get the right answer if I "figure" it out while I'm drunk.
