HOCD or Gay?

'm 17 and a girl.

This has been on and off since I was around 14. I go through these periods of questioning except this one has lasted since around August. I will look at both genders and ask myself if I am attracted to them. I will watch porn to see what one I get more attracted to. I just obsess over it but it feels like I'm trying to prove to myself that I am a lesbian.

I wanted to be a boy when I was younger and I think thoughts have stayed. I excessively daydream about being a boy. I dress like one when I'm alone and create a story for him. Most of the time he is gay but sometimes he is straight. I heard this is called Malidaptive daydreaming or something.

I just can't help but think that my attraction for guys is just carried on from when I was younger and sa a boy and wanted to be him. I don't like get turned on by the whole thing or anything and don't tell many people about it. I guess my male character is the perfect guy. But yeah I find guys hot and guess I'm attracted to them but I don't want to date one or anything like that. With girls it's like I know when they are pretty. But I don't know if it's my head that tells me this or not but I want to date a girl and kiss one etc.

Lastly, I have other OCD type things I do and one revolves around looking like a man and another is with cancer. I was bullied up until around the age of 15 for looking like a boy and so became a girly girl. I keep wondering what I would be like if I wasn't bullied. The thing with the man thing is that it does give me anxiety although not too much but I try and skip over the letter M and the thoughts pop into my head at random times making me repeat actions. But this lesbian/bi thing doesn't give me anxiety. It may be that I'm just an open minded person but I wouldn't care what my orientation is I just want to know it already.

Thanks, Please help