So ... I've been out/gay for a long time. I've never been with a women, but I guess I'm a little bit fascinated or curious about what it might be like. I've had a few opportunities to have experiences with women but when the time came, I got kind of scared and so many things run thru my head and therefore I didn't go through with it. Things like - What if I can't get it up? What if I like it? What if I don't like it? What if she gets emotionally attached after the experience or thinks she's "turned" me? I have no idea what I'm doing "down there" or "up there" with a woman. Would she be weirded out that I'm a "straight virgin" at 32 years old, or freaked out that I've only ever been with men? Could I be disappointed in what I receive from the experience? e.g. oral sex abilities compared with how men do it. I don't enjoy straight or lesbian porn at all, it pretty much turns me off. Especially the noises that the women make in them. I'm not sure if that's a sign that I should just not try it at all. I'm really sorry if any of this comes across as offensive or sexist, it's not intended. I don't know exactly what kind of responses I'm wanting from this. Anyone else had similar experiences? or advice? or opinions on whether I should pursue this kind of experience or just stick with what I know?
I can tell you that your questions and thoughts are valid... at 40 years old I have only just come to terms with being gay... and have come out to my wife of 18 years... I have never had sex with a guy... so I really am in the same boat as you only in opposite situation... I guess the deal is... if you want to go for it.. try it out... whats the worst thing that will happen. if you cant get it up.. make up some excuse and carry on. if your not good at it... oh well... if your not going to 'get into a relationship' it wont matter...
Go for it! Just tell people what you are looking for. Think plenty of straight girls would go for the novelty and/or challenge. Or perhaps you could find a couple with a curious husband and you could both explore.
Don't worry about not being able to get it up. If you worry, that might be a problem. If you don't like it, that would just confirm that your indeed fully gay. If you do like it, well that would mean that maybe you like both. If she gets invested in it, well that's up to you. Who knows, if your open to it maybe she could show you that you like women. Maybe not though, I can't say. As far as how the experience would be with what you describe, that depends on the girl. Some are a lot better at it than others. As for you going down on her, it's really quite simple. Take it somewhat slow though, like kiss her a lot first and kind of work your way down. Girls usually like it when you do that. As for what to tell her, just tell her that you used to be gay..... except you like her so much that you think she may have "turned you" straight. A lot of girls would be turned off by a man who has been with other men, especially since it was your entire life. However, there are some who would want to be with you I'm sure. Once when I was at a party in college, there was this guy who was gay.... and two girls were both coming on to him and wanting to kiss him. They said that they wanted to "turn him" straight. He didn't go for it though, because he was gay. However, if he wanted to be with them he could have probably been with both of them.... maybe even at the same time.
