All my life I've known I was gay. And I'm currently very in love with a guy at the moment, but something keeps telling me that I'm straight. The thing is, if I AM straight, then why do I love the guy so much? And above all, I WANT to be gay, not straight.
Internalised homophobia, the way you were brought up, fears of not being accepted? If you're that in love with a lad, then just go for it. You'll find closure in whatever happens between the two of you.
Thank you! It's not homophobia (at least I think it isn't). Everyone is fine with me being gay. I just have my doubts, and it worries me quite a bit.
Maybe you're afraid of making this commitment, then... you know, they very first time you seriously approach a guy you're in love with... dealing with all that may follow. It's a big step. Maybe that's why you're doubting yourself, procrastination, evading the challenge! You can do it! You owe it to your feelings, and him! (*hug*)
I remember when I was a kid my friend would put his 2 fingers on his palm and try to get me to look at it. The game was if you looked at it, you were gay! So he would try to trick me into looking at it. Even though I was 8-10 I found it completely illogical. Furthermore neither of knew what sex was or what "gay" ment. Looking back we have a laugh at it, but we understand that as kids we were subjected to some pretty heavy social dogma from outside sources that affected our developing minds. I still feel VERY self conscious about bring gender fluid. Sometimes it's hard to break the feeling that people would laugh at you if they say you behaving femininity when your "not suppose to". Time seems to be the only cure. "Reprogramming" yourself takes time.
It's not the thing bothering me about being straight that's bothering me. The problem is why do i want to be gay?
You probably experience conflicted feelings, some doubt perhaps. You might know you are not straight, so you 'want to be gay' to make these feelings go away. Because 'wanting to be straight' won't make you happy, as you know you are not straight. =) Accept the fact that you are not straight, and go with it. Don't worry so much about it. (*hug*)
I'm not worried with not being straight I have no problem with it! I'm actually in deep love with a guy right now
That is amazing! :icon_bigg I meant, actually, don't worry so much about your orientation. Just go with it. :icon_bigg
So I MIGHT be falling for a girl and well as being in deep love for a guy already. I don't want to fall in love with the girl though. I find it wrong in a way - I want to be in love with the guy. It feels much better and more natural to be in love with the guy/a guy. I don't know how to describe it; I guess I just really want to choose him over her and be gay. Any tips?
I agree with 'Lovely Lesbian' You can't really help how you feel. Maybe you like her in a different way. E.G. You may like him in a sexual and romantic way but you may just like her in a sexually or romantic way. Either way I hope it clears up for you.
@wardrobeescaper yes I am. very much ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2014 at 07:44 AM ---------- @ETgirl I like the guy romantically and sexually, and the girl just romantically and that's all. I don't know.
Tbh I just feel a spot of affection for the girl. I don't think I love her or anything. I'm very sure I love the guy though.
I just don't get why I WANT to be gay. I have no desire or intention to love a girl or be straight, nor have I ever had any strong attraction to one. It feels right to love a guy and be gay - does that make sense? I just WANT TO BE GAY!
