So I've been questioning my sexuality for 8 months. I've only dated two men in the past and never any women. Started having feelings for an older woman whom I seem to have an emotional connection/attraction to. Startled as I was, I did some research and began to watch lesbian movies (with sex of course) and lesbian kissing. I definitely get highly aroused by this stuff. I've also fantasized about being with the older woman. But I wonder if this is just "fantasy" or do I really like women? I've heard that some straight women enjoy lesbian or gay porn, so that makes me wonder if that is me too. I've only had oral sex no penetration with one man. To be honest, I didn't enjoy giving it or receiving it but I did get highly aroused kissing him. But I could never bring myself to have sex with him. Penises just aren't attractive. Now when I go out in public, I catch myself trying not to look at women. In the past (when I thought I was straight) that was never a problem. Although, I remember telling myself not to look at other women's chests. To clarify, it's not like I'm attracted to all women, I was never like that with guys either. I'm not the type of person to explore this topic by hooking up with a woman. It's difficult for me to be intimate, so it will take a serious relationship for that to happen. I haven't been paying much attention to men lately, but that might be because I'm trying to figure out if I'm into women. So am I a lesbian? Am I over analyzing this?
This sounds a bit like how it starts. For me, though, it's the fictional and virtual worlds which are helping to clarify things for me rather than the real world. But I'm pretty sure it will be the same when the time comes. I'd say just let your thoughts percolate and do some reading here. I suspect if you are straight, you'll get bored pretty quickly. (Unless you're into the social sciences.) My 2 cents.
This sounds a lot like me. I've never had any sexual experience with either gender. But I'd always wonder why girls like penis so much, they're just sooooo unappealing. The idea of touching or giving a blow job grosses me out. Most my crushes on guys were forced....I was the only one single so if the guy fit the basic requirements I'd convince myself to like him...but nothing ever developed lol. Heck, I decided to like one guy cause he had a 1970's camaro, good reason huh? There was one exception, a funny spontaneous guy who was just a blast to be around. But even though I was attracted to him, it was never sexual. It wasn't til I had a dream where I was in a lesbian relationship with my then bff that I began to consider the possibility I might be gay. But I spent years denying it, coming up with all kinds of reasons why I'm not gay. I've often caught myself staring at a woman's ass...being in a wheelchair gives me the perfect vantage point lol. Anyways, one day I told God I was tired of being alone, and to bring me my soulmate. I left things up to Him, and if I was gay, so be it. Well last July I met this amazingly wonderful woman in a general chat app n we've been together in an online relationship ever since. I truly believe God brought us together, though the purpose is still somewhat a mystery. Who knows where the road will lead.
You might have a look at this: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? And there is romantic and sexual attraction... take your time... you might also have a look at a thread called this has never happened before. (*hug*)
Some straight women do like lesbian porn. A lot of lesbians like gay male porn too. But if you're becoming interested in other people, I think It's different. There are also many straight women that don't like the look of penises, and a few straight people that completely hate vaginal intercourse and never do it. There are more ways to have sex besides a penis penetrating something; just like some gay guys don't like anal and have sex by other means, straight people do too. It's also possible that none of this applies to you and you have just been forcing yourself to like men to follow heteronormative society. So you just have to come to terms with this yourself. I can't tell you if you're a lesbian, bisexual, or even straight. It's something you'll have to figure out. Maybe being with a woman will help you discover who you are and maybe not, but these are just some examples I'm throwing out there.
You could be interested in women. I think only you can know for sure. Time will tell as you explore more in that side of yourself, i hope you reach some clarity on your sexuality, good luck!
It is true. Only you will know who you are really attracted to. With me, I grew up having crushes on boys until I was a Freshman in high school. Then I developed a strong emotional connection to my best friend (who everyone thought was gay) and developed really strong feelings for her. We were friends for over 20 years and never spoke about a mutual attraction but it was there. I grew up in a religious environment so I did not really feel free to express my feelings. Soon after high school I met my now husband. We have been married for ten years. He was my first and only boyfriend. I started therapy within the past year and have come to terms with my feelings for my high school best friend as well as discovered that I am attracted to women as well. Some women do enjoy lesbian porn but that does not make them lesbians. I think the difference comes in when its about the emotional connection with a women> I have been in love with a woman and a man and it is completely different. I love my husband, we have a connection, both physically and emotionally but it is nothing like the emotional connection I have had with a woman. This connection is something I have thoroughly enjoyed and through the connection and the way it has made me feel, I determined that I enjoy both women and men-just in different ways. Just go with how you are feeling...take a chance. If the other person is open to a relationship, male or female, then just follow suit. I personally don't think labels are important (but I know some people do). Love is love to me...so find that someone who makes you happy and be in love, enjoy each other. Good Luck.
I'll try to make this this short: 1). When it comes to porn, fantasy =/= reality. - Why? Because porn is very, very one dimensional. What do I mean by that? Porn is just sex hence the "one". There are so many factors that come to play when two people come together because they love each other; they enjoy the company of each other. If orientation was based upon porn then everyone would be lying about their orientation. 2). Ever think that maybe you could be open minded? Open to new things? Since the relationships with guys didn't work out, maybe it would with a woman? I've gotten pass the stage of confusion, because all my life I've had feelings for girls and none for guys. This is what I've held on to. Why did I think I was gay? Because I had sexual thoughts about older men, and older men only. It seems almost like a fantasy, like I wish I looked like them, etc. This holds true because I'm able to see how confident older, muscular men are, something that I lack myself. You'll find something that throws you off, or something that just makes sense. I've questioned myself for 6 months now, only time will tell.
I think there is definitely something there. Maybe you should stop telling yourself not to look at women . Let yourself look try not to overthink it and see what happens.
