Hello everyone! I'm 18 years old and recently (about 10 months ago) I accepted myself as gay (it was really hard, took me a long time). I never kissed a guy, and obviously i have never had sex, it always looked somthing that were very far away from my reality. But there's this one guy. He's classmate of my bestfriend, and there is the possiblity that we could go out toghether. Now that is almost a reality to me, I'm scared. Sometimes I think that if he offer me "something" on the first date, i'd have sex with him without problems, but I also think I'd just freeze, not knowing what to do. Also there is another point, I'm not exactly willing to play the bottom role. But some people that i know said that there aren't any "roles", the things just happen naturally. I searched the internet about that... and... it freaked me out. mainly about the "cleaning" that is a must hours before the anal sex. It just doesn't seem nice. (Oh, there is something else... I have phimosis, i'm really shy about that. I don't know if i would be fine with he knowing that about me. I need to go the urologist to see what i can make out of that, but i'm not fond with the ideia of my family knowing about that... it may cause to some questions to be made)
I would give it time before you worry about sex. But more important than that is communication. When you are ready you should talk to your partner and be able to exits opinions and options. You might want to wait on actually having intercourse until there had already been periods of closer intimacy or "fooling around." Don't stress yourself out about it. Side note: every body is different so there are some different characteristics. If he gets hung up about that he might not be a suitable partner anyways. This is just my thoughts.
U will know what to do if it comes to that... it might feel awkward... but just go with it... as for your phimosis don't worry about it... like Kaylen said... we are all different in so many ways... it should really be a non issue. Just be yourself... Good Luck
You are not alone buddy! Its been a while since I had proper sex and I must admit that the thought of it scares me as well. Even though I have done it before.
As far as your physical condition. Speak with your normal doctor about it. It will be embarrassing to talk about it, but it is worth having the discussion. You are 18 and your family doesn't need to know. If you are referred to a urologist (which you might be) then you might need to come up with something. You don't need to take you parents with you being an adult. As far as sex and "roles". Ok, here is the deal. The terms top and bottom are probably overused to the point of ambiguity. They can be used to mean the physical positions or the "roles" people play meaning dominate and submissive. Generally people says tops are dominate and bottoms are submissive, but that isn't always true. This will play itself out as you explore and spend time with your partner. Those roles really do appear. If you want to physically be the bottom then you might want to make sure you take to use the bathroom beforehand, I don't think a few hours is necessary. USE A CONDOM! Sex can be messy, but don't worry everything can be washed up. Don't stress about that part of it. Go slow, use lots of lube and have fun. Honestly, it hurts a bit the first time. And relaxing that first time can be a bear. Just go slow. As far as this guy and what you would do. You always have the option to say no or not this time. There is nothing saying you have to jump into bed with him on the first date. And honestly, if you get to a point where you are in that position and you freeze up, admitting you are scared can be quite endearing with someone who cares. They'll know it isn't the right time and help you feel more comfortable.
