hey i guess i should start by saying im new here, had a sub normal childhood nothing crazy. i've always thought i was straight but when i started high school which was at an all girl school, i realized that maybe im not so into guys. the first girl i ever liked was a butch lady, i was infatuated with her and everything about her(nothing ever happened i doubt she even knew i existed). after she matriculated i never really found someone else like her but i never really forgot her either. i went onto varsity and i just assumed i was straight, dated guys and everything but than i had a "lesbian" encounter with one of my friends in which we kissed and i have never felt more passion and lust from any kiss in my life than that one. i guess somehow i managed to put it out of mind until last Saturday when i was grocery shopping with my roommate and i saw this butch lesbian lady and i just couldn't stop staring at her, in the few moments i spent in her gaze i saw a life beyond anything i ever imagined... i just never spoke to her. my question is am i bisexual or lesbian?
Whether you are bi or a lesbian is only up to you. Others can give you advice and such, but they can't answer that question for you. But I kind of agree with Fallingdown7. You do kind of sound like a lesbian. You didn't really say anything about being attracted to guys at all, even though you dated a few. If I were you, I would ask myself how I felt when I dated those guys. How intense were the feelings for them, emotionally and sexually? How did those feelings compare to the feelings I'd had for girls? I mean, there's a chance you still could have cared for the guys you dated. A lot of gay people have dated the opposite sex and still cared for those people; just not in the "romantic/passionate" way that they would have felt for someone of the same sex. So you really just have to think about all the feelings you've had for both sexes and which ones were more intense. If you never got too sexually excited over any guys or never cared too much about any guys, except maybe in a friend sort of way, then I'd say you're a lesbian. If you've had some sort of sexual and emotional connection to a guy or a few guys before, then maybe you're bi. But even if you are bi, you might have a preference for women. A lot of bi people are on a sort of scale-like thing and have a preference for one sex, and don't feel equally attracted to both sexes.
I totally relate to you. I am trying to figure out the same exact thing. I guess at this point i accept the fact that i am way more interested in women right now, but that i still feel open to all genders. You can only know by following what you feel and trusting yourself. It's better to not get caught in labels if possible… but hard to not know exactly what category you fall in to. hard to be undefined good luck
thank you for the awesome advise from all of you, and its not that im not attracted to guys its just a very superficial attraction. it looks like i have alot more thinking to do. its just very confusing all of this is very confusing.
I agree with bibibaby, don't put a label on yourself just yet! Just allow yourself to be open to what life brings your way.
I agree, there is no rule to state you need to put a label on yourself if you aren't ready to. Be open, honest with yourself and just for now allow yourself to be yourself and let yourself grow and learn. It took me two years to really come to a definitive decision about whom I am and that was only very recently and I feel very comfortable with it now, but it can take a while for you to get there, so try not to stress and worry and just go out there and as I said, let yourself and your heart be open to anything.
alright so im throwing caution to the wind and not letting this consume my mind any longer. i feel as though i've spent the last 7 years trying to figure this out without much of a definitive answer. also does anyone know how to tell your super religious parent that you may actually be gay or the very least bisexual? cause thats sort of next on my list of things to worry about after ive hopefully figured out where i stand with everything within my self. thank you for the advice, im feeling the love
