Well, some stuff has been going on in my family and it was recently revealed to me that when my father was a boy (like between 10-15) he was sexually abused by his neighbor-- this information is new to me and it's put my whole perspective into a rut. Now, I know that orientation isn't a choice, etc, ad nauseam but I do know that science has dictated that genetics can play a role in the development of an embryo's sexual orientation and right now I'm horrified that this neighbor who sexually abused my father over a period of several years is some sort of 'third parent' to me, in that by doing that to my father it had enough psychosomatic influence to create a sperm that won the race to my mother's womb which while my father thought about the abuse he endured while orgasming and injecting my mother with the fluid that would eventually become me is somehow behind the self-hatred I feel for myself and my own sexual orientation? I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense, all I know is that I know this person, he's a neighbor of my dad's mom and I'm not sure if I should confront him or not-- because part of me wants to ask him why... Either way, if science and genetics has anything to do behind the shaping of sexual orientation and a traumatic influence in my father's life thought about during the chemical explosion leading to my mother's pregnancy with me has anything to do with it... I just don't like the thought. What should I do?
Why would your father be thinking about this abuse at the moment that he was having sex with your mother? Do you have any evidence he was doing this? Beyond that, the sperm that made you was sitting your father's body for quite some time before he had that particular orgasm. There is also, to my knowledge, no evidence that a person's state of mind at any given moment has anything to do with how their genetic material get's structured, especially after it has been created. Also, how do you know that sexual orientation goes through the father and not the mother? TBH it sounds like you've learned something distressing and are now engaging in confirmation bias (something that humans are very prone to) to try to find a connection between your distressing personal situation and this other distressing information/situation. I would suggest that your best course of action is to do nothing in regards to the neighbor. If your father wishes to involve law enforcement and press charges against him, that is a choice for him to make. If you attempt to confront the neighbor he will almost certainly deny it and if you attempt to press matters you may end up being accused of slander or assault. My 2c worth, Todd
I have no intentions of slandering or assaulting anyone, and definitely no plans of pressing charges against anyone, especially not this now ninety year old man who abused my father, as there'd be no reason to do so, anyway. The guy is so old he probably doesn't even remember doing any of it. That said, you implied the sperm which made me was in my father's body for some time before it entered my mother? I was under the impression that sperm sort of were produced constantly in there, with ones more than say, thirty minutes old dying, dissolving into the body and being replaced by newly generated ones. As for why he'd be thinking about the incidents during the particular orgasm that lead to my creation I think the only way I can answer that question is with another question and that's "Is it possible for any human being to truly know another human being?" And I realize now that the answer to that question is "No."
A bit of googling turns up that, depending on how you count, the process of sperm production to being ready to be ejaculated takes somewhere between 74 and 100 days. See representative information sample here: LINK. Hope this helps, Todd
