Hi I have just really messed things up :eusa_doh: i know that i am attracted to females sexually and romantically and attracted to males romantically but not sexually at all. there was this guy who really really liked me and i had been backing away as i knew that if we where to have a relationship it wouldn't really work if i am not sexually attracted to him. Over time i became closer to him as he is the only person i feel comfortable talking to and we really get along well and i do kinda flirt with him as i do really like him. so the other day i told him how i liked him a lot and he said how he really liked me. So we basically agreed that in the future (a few months) we would get into a relationship. for the rest of that day he was all over me and basically was hugging me and putting his hand up my top. i felt no attraction sexually towards him what so ever! even him just hugging me didn't feel right. but i am romantically attracted to him, sounds crazy but i have even imagined us in the future getting married and having kids! So do you think a relationship could work if your romantically attracted but not sexually? I personally feel like it will be hard. but now he will be so confused if i now tell him that i am not into him after i just agreed to get into a relationship with him! what should i do? do i just get into a relationship with him and see how things go or will that just end badly? :bang: i feel like if i tell him how i really feel then i will lose him and i really don't want to lose him but how would we have relationship if i cant even hug and kiss him let alone have sex with him! i wish i was just attracted sexually and romantically to one gender
U should tell him how do u really feel In case he expect too much from you. He maybe dissapointed but better to tell truth from the beginning. If he really cares n loves u, he will understand and dont give u any pressure to be something that u're not. Explain it and pick a right time.. Dont fake it that would be worse.
I don't believe that immediate sexual attraction is a necessary prerequisite for a relationship all the time. Sometimes those feelings come later on, especially if you want to be with the person because of who they are. I guess my thought is, it's not impossible at all. My past relationships have always been with guys who I had known for a while before getting into the sexual aspect of things. I had always found them attractive initially but that's all. I also want to ask, was he being clingy and over the top as soon as you gave him the okay? I hate when anyone does that. Guys that can't keep their hands off 24-7 are just annoying and a total turn-off. If you're flat out not attracted to him though and don't see it possibly happening naturally, it may pose a problem down the line... I guess I would try to talk to him now about what you just wrote and see if you can work things out with him. Honesty is always the best policy.
I guess you could start by letting him know that you are questioning your sexuality, and that you are uncomfortable/unsure about physical contact, etc. Make it sound like you are willing to try but don't think you are sexually interested. I don't know if that makes it seem like you're leading him on, but I think it would be worse to bring it all down on him immediately like there's no chance at all for him, and it's better to have it be like you are unsure and then slowly coming to the realization that you are sexually unattracted to him. See how he would take it, whether he's willing to work around it, give only so much as you'll take.
