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Am I Gay or Bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by yayforthelgbt, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. yayforthelgbt

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    I'm really confused. I'm very certain I'm gay (but I'm only 13.) I don't really have that much experience since I've never really had that many crushes. I am sexually and physically attracted to guys for sure, I am not sexually/physically attracted to girls however. But then there's the romance part. I kinda feel like I can have romantic feelings towards both. Like I can imagine myself with a guy more but then I can have friends what are girls what I feel romantically attached too sometimes. But the feelings are so confusing. I can't really tell if it's because I'm surrounded by straight people so I feel like it's expected of me, or if I just have a very close friendship with these girls. Or if I'm actually bi??? (I don't think I'm straight at all really.) I think I'm gay because I feel like it would be uncomfortable to be in a relationship with a girl, but is that just because I don't feel like I would be "straight-acting" enough for the girl, or that I'm secretly bi but have got so used to me having a "gay identity" (I have only came out to one person, when I say gay identity I mean me knowing I'm gay) that I can't imagine a relationship with a girl. I really wish I could just know now, I'm turning 14 in like 3 months and I kinda feel that I just have to come out now. I have actually came out as bi to some few friends a while ago when I thought I was bi but I think that was just because I wasn't ready to accept I was gay. But now I think I may be bi again, ahhh it's so confusing!!! If the sexual and physical attraction to girls is not there then how can I really be in a relationship with a girl anyway? I have already posted about me being confused in this forum already but it's still really bugging me! :frowning2: Am I just over thinking it and am I too young to know now? Please help! :confused:
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    Hey yayforthelgbt (lol, nice nick),

    It seems that labels are confusing you, so i'm not going to worry about them (neither should you, if that's the case). Simplifying, to me, it looks like you are gay, not bi. You are attracted to men, romantically and sexually, and are not attracted to girls, sexually or rommantically, even if you can feel a strong connection to a girl, it is all about friendship. Am i right? I'm just trying to guess, you are the only one who can conclude anything about your feelings.

    Don't worry about labels, as i said. Be yourself, you don't need to fit yourself in a category. About coming out, you may tell people you are gay, if you are confortable with that. If you conclude later you were wrong and you are bi, come out as bi again. There is nothing wrong with that.

    Hugs
     
  3. Celatus

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    This has been happening to me for a while too. I'm more turned on by men but I seem more romantically inclined toward women.
     
  4. ForNarnia

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    Labels suck, but if I were to label you, I'd say heteromantic homosexual (meaning gay, but has romantic feelings for the opposite sex) Hope that helps :/ I dunno xx
     
  5. yayforthelgbt

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    Thank you all :slight_smile: This helps a lot.
     
  6. Ravienclaw

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    Sexuality's pretty complex. It sounds to me like you're leaning more towards guys, but if you ever happen to fall for a girl that's okay too. Don't worry so much about the labels :slight_smile: but a fun one I liked to use for a while was homoflexible. Mostly gay, but if someone of the opposite sex were particularly awesome I might be willing to give them a chance.
     
  7. Jax12

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    Yup, labels do suck. But from what I currently know, there are a few things you have to consider before even labeling yourself:

    Gay: You date guys, and guys only. You want a relationship with guys, not because gay porn turns you on; not because you like dick more than vagina; not because you like being a bottom/top; not because you like something up your ass; you're gay because you get that "feeling" for guys, because you are attracted to who they are.

    Bi: You date guys or girls. You are comfortable with dating with either gender. You like boys and girls equally, 50/50. Both guys and girls give you the same "feeling" because you are attracted to who they are.

    It all comes down to who you are more comfortable with, where you can be yourself. Before, I always based my sexual orientation on sexual attraction, like "Oh, I stare at older guy's bulges. That must mean I'm gay. I don't stare at girl's breasts as much as I stare at bulges so that must mean I'm gay". Quite often I fantasize about having sex with older men, and older men only, but never had the "feeling" for them (some people refer to it as butterflies). If we generalize it more, I never had feelings for guys. Never. Not once in a blue moon. Only girls. Yet, I fantasize about gay acts (key word here).


    If you're going to be in a real, loving relationship, sex shouldn't be a priority. Developing a relationship with that special someone should be priority.

    This is up for debate, but I think that for someone to truly be bisexual, that means they are attracted to both genders equally, 50/50. Not 49/51, 50/50. What do you guys think?
     
    #7 Jax12, Oct 26, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2014
  8. lb41974

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    Guess what you have your whole life to decide what you want and makes you happy so slow down take a deep breath and you will know when you are ready!
     
  9. love dont judge

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    You arent too young enough not to know. But it seems like, as everyone else has stated, youre having troubles with labels. I wouldnt worry about them now. Youve got your whole life ahead of you to figure those out. Right now you know that you like guys, and have a very strong bond with girls. You could like both, but only you will know that for sure later on down the road of life. And anyone who identifies as bisexual doesnt have to be 50/50. You could have a preferance for one over theother, and still identify as bi because you know that u do like the other gender than what your preference is for.