Did I get it Right: In that taking away from all this I accepted myself as Gay.

In terms of me being Gay, I just wondered if maybe I've intentionally made myself gay just to hide my asexuality which was much experienced throughout high school after realizing I was never attracted to women in any form. Here is my story from when I first started experiencing what I think is a sign of me being gay.

It pretty much started off with when teenage guys asked me if I was going out with girls and I said no and they pretty much said why. I answered with I'm asexual and they answered with that's not a thing and often when I said this I only referred to females as my reason for being asexual. One night it just so happened, I had a strange series of dreams all involving me living in a house with a guy and what would happen in the dreams is I would be in bed with the guy I was dreaming about and we would hug in public and make displays of affection. At first I thought this was just a phase but it continued in different ways and even reached moments where I would be having sex with this guy and I would also be among piles of other men and random junk. I always having a low sex drive could not get aroused by anything but at random points and almost always when I thought about guys up it came and at moments I passed it off as randomness, but it kept happening and I then started to incorporate an or guys into the questioning of my fellow teens and also my mother asked whether I was looking for a girlfriend, but when I added on the or boys it always felt forced to me. So when I said, "I'm asexual, not interested in girls," I would often pause to think about it and then say or guys. After leaving school though I decided to explore more after I began to look at random men for very long periods of time, and when I kept looking I felt a pleasurable feeling come into my head and heard myself saying random stuff as if I was imagining complementing him on his body and it all reminded me of a time in high school when I was saying if specific guys in my school were sexy to me, but to as if keep myself from my believed sexual orientation I would add an to girls on the end of a quote like "This guy is sexy, once again pausing to girls and not sounding convincing. So back to after high school. The dreams continued and I then began to actually imagine guys in my bed having sex with me and now here I am.

I was wondering off my story, would any of you guys think I'm a gay guy or am I still a asexual guy not interested in anyone. Maybe I'm homoerotic(emotionally attracted to men rather than sexually attracted). I came out of this story with a standpoint that I'm gay and I'm strong on that standpoint, but I'm wondering from point of view of an outsider would you say that I made the right decision on accepting my orientation as a gay guy. Because these moments I described had time to fester and did not happen every month. Other info: I do not have OCD or anything like that although I do have physical disabilities. Like hearing loss and feet problems.

 

It's just I put a label on it to make it clearer to myself. I do not normally label myself, it's just I had to find myself and in that I found I was attracted to men through dreams which manifested in a different way in reality. The label Gay just made it easier for me to discover who I was and it turns out I'm a completely masculine guy who likes other guys, and that bit about masculine was concerning me because I originally thought that gay guys were far more feminine, that was until this forum actually said that not all gay guys fit the stereotype of being feminine and so I began the process of acceptance and this question has ended that process. So I would like to thank this forum for helping me on the final step of my journey. This doesn't mean I'm leaving as I will indeed keep in touch with the forum and this great community of LGBT commuters.

 

Hey man I think you are a bisexual guy. Bisexual people do not need to be interested in all men as you are interested in older guys. You can have an attraction to women to be gay, but what happens is that attraction goes away. In high school I pretended to be attracted to women and guess what I try to do last night, I just realized when I think about women, it's just so boring to me (here's what my imagination sees). Woman comes in, takes off clothes has sex and leaves. My imagination when it comes to men though is just so damn out there. There's the cuddling and the relationship and like the moment slows down and satisfies me. I feel so good when I think about guys coming in and doing everything. Even if I tried to think about women it would bore me. I just realized just then even the perfect woman would bore me. (you know what that means), I'm definitely attracted to men and it means I'm like 99.9% gay and 0.1% straight.

I'd say you are bisexual cause bisexual is more relevant to your situation. You are interested in women and men and in comparison to me and many others on this forum, I'd say because of your relationship and sexual feeling around women and since you are getting some of it around men, you can be a bisexual man. Does that help. Honestly if you don't like labelling yourself just ask yourself who am I and go on a journey of self discovery. To discover whether that feeling for men is something more, just remember on a journey of self discovery, do not just focus on one thing. Set a goal for yourself. This journey can take a long time like mine did or it can be short.

Also to the main guys in this forum. I think I used the word dream in the wrong occasion. I keep forgetting my imagination is out there and all those things I described in the first post are thoughts with a sprinkling of me actually seeing them happen.