It was nit until recently that I found myself aroused by penises when watching porn (I'm 18). I used to be frightened, thinking I was gay when I was sure I liked girls, It seemed convincing because I'm an introvert and don't do well with females, half the time it does not bother me because mainly they aren't my type beyond looks, but it played a role into me thinking I was gay. Eventually I just decided to try out gay/transexual porn, and with in time, I was comfortable with it. Since I was young, I loved being aroused and love suggestive material so I concluded that's why I found myself aroused by penises. While watching the porn I noticed how it didn't change how I felt towards females therefore it made me comfortable, not to say I haven't freaked out plenty of times afterwards because I would just wonder "how could I just end up into that? is it going to effect my possible relationships with girls?" I just started having more and more unanswered questions. But I've accepted that this is how I am now, and it won't go anywhere, can't change what arouses you. My biggest problem right now is keeping it to myself, I don't feel right like that. I don't know other guys like me who are around my age intoooo penis I guess, no other way to say it, I'm not interested in sex with guys or anything as of now (can't tell the future) but I have been thinking about wanting to befriend other guys like me or basically bi guys or I guess gay I don't know. What to do?
Just being aroused by a dick while looking at porn doesn't really mean all that much. Porn is a really bad indicator of attraction.
Yeah I've heard. Okay, when I came home today and was changing clothes, I had a thought, and it was sex scene, a gay sex scene, and I was aroused fully, immediately, would that mean anything?
Well like you said, you can't change what arouses you. It either does or it doesn't. Try not to label yourself yet, since you still aren't sure. I know you want to, at least to some degree, but even if you did label yourself that doesn't change who you are. You're still that 18 year old guy from yesterday. You see a really big roller coaster and you think oh god, that's scary! I don't want to go on it! But you haven't even been on it! Yet you're concluding that you won't like it simply by observation. Then after you go on it, you think huh, that wasn't so bad. I keep telling myself that, even though it's hard to believe. That's why I'll be speaking with a psychologist soon in a couple days to find out what is really going on. It's great that you are opening up to other people and asking people here what to do, and that's a great first step. I wouldn't look to much into it yet, UNLESS it starts interfering your life. What I mean by that is you'll think about it a lot, and possibly even more. It may interfere with your school, and daily routine. Over the past 2 months I have become a little more quite and distant with my family because I was trying to solve these problems I had with my sexuality. One cigarette doesn't make me a smoker.
