I was born and raised in a household where everyone believed in the lord and his son Jesus Christ. We went to church every Sunday and from an early age I was taught that love was strictly man/woman. The people at my church would say that it was unholy and against god to look upon members of the same sex and feel any sort of lust or feeling of love. It was alright to love your family members but it was not "right" to love other members of the same sex outside of the church and your family relations. Now, fast forward to grade eight when I started to look at girls and see them as beautiful. I mean, I'd always looked at them and seen them as beautiful but it was different somehow in grade eight. I didn't want to embarrass myself around them, I wanted them to like me, I wanted them to want to hang out around me. I would still look at boys and get that fluttery feeling in my chest, but then again, girls also had that affect on me... although, I think back then it was just a little less noticeable. Or maybe I'm only just starting to realise my feelings for other girls? I don't know and it is really confusing. I don't want to spend my high school years being the wallflower who isn't sure who she truly is. I think it might be important to note that I've been bullied for almost eight years by girls that I used to call my best friends and now it is hard for me to make friends and maintain relationships cause I have really bad social anxiety and went through a period of my life where I was depressed. So a part of me doesn't want to even think that I could be lesbian or bisexual in fear that people might make fun of me for it. I can look at girls though and think 'whoa, they're really pretty... I wonder what it would be like to kiss them? What would their mouth feel like against mine?' and I get that fluttery feeling in my chest whenever I'm around a cute girl. I get that feeling for certain guys like Dylan O'brien and Orlando Bloom but most of the guys in my school do nothing for me and I end up just having this fluttery feeling when I am around girls. I don't know what to think about this... It has been going on for almost half a year now and I am unsure how to figure out what my sexuality is... I've heard that it is a process and that for some people they just knew right away. I am incredibly envious of the people who say that they just knew right away that they were bisexual or lesbian. Although, sometimes I wonder what actually defines sexual and emotional attraction? maybe if I know that I can start reflecting that when I am in class and unable to focus on math because the girl beside me looks like some young future Victoria secret model. (so very envious of those beautiful ladies, lol). I don't know if anyone could help me... How did you guys go about figuring out your sexuality and was it as confusing as my life has been for the past few years? Please help me. I appreciate your time and consideration. P.s I typed this on my phone so I apologize for any bad grammar or spelling mistakes
Sometimes, it does take longer for people to realize. I didn't even have a clue until I was 16, and even then I thought I was bisexual. Having a relationship with a boy wasn't something I even really considered at that point, I just recognized that I did have SOME attraction to men. I used to like girls, but eventually, I slowly came to realize that having a relationship with a guy was something that I was interested, and girls not so much. Is it possible for you to explore a lesbian relationship and find a partner with your family situation? Don't let your family discourage you. Be who you truly are and don't ever let anyone get you down or make you feel like a bad person for who you like. *Hugs*
As an atheist, I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think that a lot of (Catholic) people are coming around to the 'Pope Francis way of thinking'. Which is something along the lines of 'to have homosexual feelings is not a sin, to have gay sex is, but you will be forgiven if you confess.' I don't know if that applies to you or if it helps at all but that's all I can really say considering I don't know too much about religion.
I grew up in a Christian household, and while I have always had my faith, I wasn't serious until October 14th 2013. So I know the struggle, I know the fear, I know what it's like to be sheltered. For better or worse. I can proudly say, as of this moment I am a transgender female, on the road to SRS, and bisexual. I DO believe it is possible to be lgbt and Christian, though I had to do a lot of research and had more than a few nights crying at night over it. I don't know if you view yourself as Christian now, but if you are trying to sort out faith with your possible LGBT-ness, I would be more than happy to offer however much or little I can, be it from logic, science, or scripture standpoints. That aside, know that you are very much loved, and the world can be very cruel. Not all Christians have it 'figured out', in fact many themselves are cold or lost. No one can judge you except Jesus, and we are ALL sinners and equally condemned and equally saved. No one can look down upon you and think they are greater, lest they make themselves a hypocrite. Don't stress too much, just let love happen naturally. If you like looking at women so what? If you like looking at men so what? You're /you/, and you're beautiful! Life will be rough regardless if you're straight gay bi black white purple or short, so embrace others, show love, and while you might be afraid or have reservation; you ARE cared for by someone. It took me many, many years to stop denying who I was MADE to be. Honestly? I'm thankful I was born an 'abomination', because it helped me grow and see past the facade our world makes. I personally owe it to the Lord, it's rough but it's taught me so much. In life we are given obstacles, to test our mettle; mine while hard and forevermore will be a weakness I can reflect as a strength. I hope that helped, I don't know what to say to you without relating myself or trying to give reassurance. Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee;" Psalm 139:13 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb."
It took me quite a while to figure out my sexuality, and a lot of bashing my head with a book in frustration. It takes time... (I hated when people said that to me... but it is true) About your family and religion... I am catholic on paper but I do not agree with some of what the catholic church says. If God made us all unique and thinks of us as equal, then why does the catholic church think that homosexuality is wrong? God obviosly had a plan as Doria quoted. You are yourself and you can't let family or your church change your opinion. (*hug*)
I think sexuality can take awhile to figure out, especially if you are raised in an environment where it isn't an acceptable option. It's been a long process for me that I am just now reaching the point of acceptance. I grew up not even knowing gay/lesbian people existed.. I knew I liked girls at a young age, but it wasn't until I was in my 20s before I met a lesbian and started to understand myself... And another 15+ years to reach the point of really accepting it. Good luck to you!
I was also raised in a Christian household. Ever since I was 11, I noticed that my eyes were always on male teacher's bulges lol. I still do that today which is quite upsetting cause I feel horny nearly 24/7. But before I "hit puberty", I never had attractions to guys. In retrospect, attractions to girls was something that I do remember because it was normal. I wasn't even aware of LGBT terms. It was only 4 months ago when I had my first relationship with a girl and it didn't feel right. It felt a bit forced and I didn't really want to kiss her. Not that this says anything, but if you were attracted to someone then everything else (at least for the beginning) should feel natural to you. I lack experienced in this aspect of relationships, but I think that's the general idea. And so I pretty much got extremely horny with guys and not as horny with girls. And I kept thinking about penis lol. This is how I figured it out, but I'm not applying this to every gay person out there.
I don't dwell too much on the aspect you seem to be : god, religion , my sexuality , etc. I liked girls , dated and ....girls . I met a dude . It totally mindfucked me for awhile but HE overcame that part in me . He's just too awesome. I don't get into all this "what category am I in" stuff everybody seems deadest on pursuing . And some other categories I think are totally bogus. I know the whole Christian thing too being raised as one and now pursuing a minor in relg studies . Be very careful with trying to reconcile who you are with a set of beliefs,written down by men( some anonymous), some texts centuries after their story lines occurred and some centuries between chapters (divinely inspired notwithstanding). It's easy to quote a couple of sweet verses from a book in the Old Testament or the New Testament . Unfortunately , religions treat the entire canon ( bibles books ) as sacred and some of the other stuff written isn't so sweet regarding being whatever you think you are that would put you in conflict with your "faith". At some point I personally think one has to evaluate for ones self what is more important : holding on to something from your past that doesn't really evolve . Or Moving ahead with your life in a healthy/ happy manner . I really hope you figure this out for yourself . #fornarnia the Catholic Church has always taught that confessing your sins sincerely and wholeheartedly can lead to absolution . This is not something pope Francis came up with regarding homosexuality. The same category that that " sin" falls under also includes premarital sex ; extramarital sex ; masturbation , etc. Evangelicals and others have the whole notion of " saved" . It comes from one of the epistles of John . So , the poster( because I'm guessing evangelical in her case) could actually live her life as she wants for however long and then at that last moment , if she was still conflicted about the whole Jesus thing , confess with her lips that he is lord and that she is saved ; recite the verse, if there's time , and all is taken care of . Just like confession !
