Not the crisis of the year obviously… but I would really appreciate advice. I really need someone to stop me messing up!! I basically have this ginormous crush on one of my friends… who is not a best friend but really on the way to becoming a true, close friend. So yeah, I like her. A lot. It's kinda bad. What's awful is the fact that we became close because I realised I fancied her, before I wasn't sure if I found her annoying or hilarious. Is that shallow? But now we are really, really good friends, and I like her so much as a mate too. I'm not sure whether she likes girls though, she sends me mixed signals if I'm honest. One night we just sat together in the dark and talked and laughed for an hour and she playfully kept touching me. Sometimes I think she is flirting with me (or checking out my ass) and other times I just feel distance from her. She makes all these jokes about how her parents think she's gay, because she's never wanted a boyfriend, and on her celebrity male crushes. After that night, when I really felt a connection, she said she couldn't wait to do it again, but I was afraid that she just saw it in a friendly way and not a romantic way, so I kind of stepped back a bit. I really want to just be brave and go for it, and show her that I like her. I'm kind of planning to do it on Bonfire night, I'm not sure if they have it in the US, it's just like a night on November the fifth when there is loads of celebrations and fireworks everywhere. Haha, I know cliche. I'm so nervous, because I've never told anyone I like them. I kind even tell my best friend about my girl crushes, without choking. And I definitely can't tell my BFF about this girl, because they are kind of friends too… But the thing is I don't want it all to go tits up and ruin our really good relationship. Plus, she's kind of coming to my house for a weekend in two weeks time, because her parents are away, and if I mess up it will be really awkward. What should I do? I so want to just tell her and take a leap of faith (lol) but that would be kind of crazy, seeing as I live in the kind of environment that is like Don't Ask Don't Tell as i go to boarding school. Plus the mixed signals are just doing my head in. Sometimes I feel like I am so much more involved in our conversations that she is. I could just be imagining it. I just need some kindly pointing in the right direction… Does this girl like me? Or am just I trying to read in between lines that don't exist? Should i just value our friendship more? Thank you, and I love you all
You could certainly do something with her for Bonfire Night, if that's an option but if she's staying with you in a few weeks, I'd say you could test things out then. Maybe at the end just in case things go pear-shaped. It does sound a bit like she's got some of the same ideas about you as you have about her.
I would try to hint at things and slowly build up the flirts in your friendship, before admitting anything to her so it doesn't come as a shock. Admitting a crush could cause a negative reaction, which you need to be prepared for, but not doing anything could cause regrets too. So take baby-steps to letting her know. You could also objectively talk about sex and/or sexual orientation. With this being said, if it feel right, tell her.
