Do you ever feel conflicted about your sexuality?

There's actually a specific label for that - being either biromantic/heteromantic, but homosexual. Basically, it's that you want to have sex with men only, but can date men and women or only women.

A lot of people just go by bisexual, though, since it's a lot simpler - your label is yours, after all, and no one can really tell you what to go by.

 

I can relate to liking the way women luck even if I don't have any sexual desires towards them. In fact, I think I end up noticing attractive girls even more often than guys (which is a lot). With that said, I don't feel conflicted about my sexuality at all. Every sexual thought I have is about another guy; I can just appreciate if a girl is attractive.

Regardless, don't sweat the label. The important thing is that you're comfortable with the fact that you're not straight so you're not going to miss out on the people you're genuinely attracted to. Since you went as far as to post this thread I think you'll be able to keep an open mind so if one day you do develop sexual thoughts towards a girl, cool. In the end, gay is just a word.

 

^ ugh, wow, that should have been "look", not "luck". Can't even blame it on my phone.

 

Sounds almost exactly like me! I'm sexually attracted to guys and girls but I know that I will probably never marry a boy (although I've dated one) and I definitely want to marry a woman. I knew that for a fact. So I kinda get what you're thinking.

 

Well, I'm a girl but I definitely feel this way. I want to date women because I feel much more emotionally attracted to them, but unfortunately I don't think I am sexually attracted to them. Men turn me on but I don't want to be in a relationship with them. So I feel ya.

 

Sometimes. I know I like guys in all ways but girls... idk!

 

I understand you completely.

I know for certain I'm physically attracted to women. When I look at an attractive woman, I can feel my heart beat quicken and I find it hard to look away. It's completely unlike the feelings I have towards men. Yet, it is men who are develop the strongest bonds with.
You see, I have quite a masculine personality. I have very little in common with other girls so I generally hang around guys. It is with them I feel most comfortable and happy. One of the guys in particular I have quite strong feelings for. The idea of being in a relationship with him...doesn't seem too bad. The only thing is: I don't find him physically attractive. It is because of this I wouldn't pursue a relationship with a guy.
But even though I do have physical attraction for women, I don't get on with them as well as I do with guys. I'm just too different to other girls. I can emotionally connect with them, but it is hard when you don't have too much in common.

 

Bubblemonger - although personal reflection and self-analysis are really important parts of life, I have realized that when I over-analyze my personal sexual/romantic orientation too much it just becomes very confusing. I would recommend that while anyone is still figuring themselves out, they avoid labels and just identify as a "complex human being with various interests." lol

Sexuality is fluid, so you never know how you will be different a year from now. Just accept yourself for who you are and accept (and enjoy!) your attractions. By experimenting sexually and romantically (safe sex, always!) you will realize what you like and dislike.

I think that Chip made some really good points. While you are experimenting and learning more about yourself, don't let the polluted influence of heteronormative society contaminate your thoughts and actions. Before I came out to my family, I did not think that I could ever be romantically attracted to a man - I thought it was a just a sexual thing. But after I came out and realized that my family accepts me for who I am, I started falling in love with like 3 guys a week lol. A year ago I used to think that I could never marry a man, but now I like to have fantasies of starting families with my crushes and having kids and a backyard and a fence and a pet etc. etc. Accept yourself, be yourself, and don't let society ruin you. You live once.

---------- Post added 5th Nov 2014 at 11:43 PM ----------

^ With that said, I was totally just sharing my own story and not implying that you're actually just totally gay and refusing to accept that. Everyone has their own journey and attractions and orientation. I encourage you to google "genderbread person" - very cool educational resource.

Also: "I also tend to act very normal I guess, so people are usually surprised to learn I'm not straight."

Careful with the word 'normal.' So a person with a penis who has very flamboyant mannerisms and is what society deems as 'extremely feminine' is.....abnormal? I think not!

 

i feel conflicted about my label, im not confortable using it sometimes because the queer community has twisted it and made it mean something entirely else.

 

I have met very very few people who have never been conflicted about their sexuality. We all go through stages and have to ultimately accept and come out to ourselves, so there you have it.

 

I'm very conflicted about my sexuality as well, and have been since I was 12-13, this before I could even word it, it was just the weird feeling of conflict. I've been thinking that I could be a heteroromantic homosexual lately. It's the fact that I so easily fall for men and think about them, imagine kissing them, but nothing further than that. And then there's women. I never imagine falling for them, or dating them, but oh, I feel sexualy attracted to some.

 

I feel the same way. I noticed that I love mentally being with men but I cannot even push myself to get physical in any way. It just tends to feel really wrong. I kissed a boy when I was 9 years old and I haven't since. Actually I haven't kissed anyone since then because I have been so confused. But I am greatly sexually attracted to women. It comes with no effort but I've never had a partnership with a girl.

 

WOW I have never had any of your problems at all. I knew full well I was lesbian since I was 11. Men just don't please me sexually or romantically and Women do so I don't have anything to say.

 

I definitely relate and feel very conflicted about my sexuality. How you describe feeling about men/women is very similar to my feelings (if you reverse the genders). I have, however, felt myself less romantically interested in men since I've been starting to accept I'm likely gay. I've had romantic attractions to men in the past, but not exactly sexual. I can notice an attractive guy and think he's hot, but beyond that it just feels I dunno, "icky" to think about. Still, because I notice men it makes me question that I'm gay, despite the fact that with women I get much more "turned on" as you said. I think some people may be a little more "in between," that's how I've been feeling about myself. It's possible you may in time realize you're very much gay, or you are a bit bi, too, though.

 

I am kind of feeling like the opposite of the OP, I am exclusively sexually attracted to women, but I am wanting to spend my life with another man, as long as there is no sex involved. Sort of like a life-long roommate! Whoo!

 

I don't relate , I only want romantic and sexual relationships with women.
When I was first realized I was into women I still wanted to date men our of bargaining

 

Exactly one of the thoughts that has lead to my realizing my gayness... "I wish I could just have a roommate relationship with a guy." :lol: