I'm new obviously and looking for some experienced opinions on my ultimate question..."Am I lesbian?" Please let me know what you think and anything else that might be helpful before I begin this journey into the unknown. To Give A brief history about myself....I'm 30 with two young children and twice divorced. I'm in the beginning stages of rebuilding myself after a series of traumatic life threatening events that left me questioning who I am, who do I want to be, and where am I going forward. After months of social isolation( by my own choice)I moved to a new town, got a new job, and that brought me here. I met her at work and I immediately felt attraction to her. To the extent, directly following my shift I told my best friend "I think I'm a lesbian" (half joking half serious) and went on about my attraction and not understanding it at all. About a month later this girl and I had a shift together that had turned into an absolute shit storm which left me worried about my job. We grabbed a drink after work to discuss the night events which turned into us getting so lost in conversation HOURS had passed in what felt like only a matter of minutes. This happened once every couple weeks with us losing ourselves in conversation and recently invited her over one night. This was the night that I expressed what I had been feeling towards her and apparantly her feelings were mutual. I know I took her by surprise because she is a lesbian and has been all her life and I am a divorced mother with children. We have since maintained a relationship that has turned into physical headed sexually which I take seriously. We went on our first public date recently as well. I'm completely comfortable with all of it so far since I have had previous experience just not to this extent. Throughout my late teens and early twenties, I experimented with women.. Always for fun and nothing serious though. Growing up, I only fantasized about being with other women; never men. I have only been physically attracted to one man in my entire life and he was a stranger I saw that I won't ever forget. Men aren't "hot" or "sexy" to me. I chose men based on personality. I find nothing attravtive about a penis. Never have. I am attracted to the "butch" type lesbians. But I have noticed I'm drawn to a specific type. I myself am very feminine and plan to remain that way no matter what. I have yet to be attracted to any feminine lesbians. I'm really concerned that I may be a lesbian and have been all my life and didn't realize it until now. Please share your opinions on this. I'm really confused by it all.
You might have a look at athread called this has never happened before... you are not alone, there are quite a few in similar situations. (*hug*)(*hug*)
I read my own post and yes, it sounds too ridiculous to be true but it is what it is. Apparently I am barking up the wrong tree for some honest opinions about the situation I'm in. Let me state what I do know at this very moment. I know I don't like men. I know that the meaning of the word "Love" has changed. I know that in a community; you are either accepted or not by its set standards. I know I don't believe in labels. I know I'm a person. I know I have a vagina and breasts and I also know that any person out there can acquire these things just to be accepted by society and standards. I know I'm disappointed right now and I know I will eventually be okay. Most importantly, I know I LOVE and according to the guidelines, today I'm a lesbian...to be more specific. .A monogamous lesbian who just graduated from this particular forum.
I'm not exactly sure, (not an expert) but this sounds somewhat like a position I'm in. I find guys attractive, but I find it easier to have a romantic relationship with women, yet I'm rarely attracted to women. I identify as bi, because I have been sexually attracted to women before, but, in you're case if you don't find penises attractive, I may say lesbian, but you have the ability to have a romantic relationship with people regardless of gender/sexuality. Good luck! (*hug*)
This is not a one stop but a journey. Where people might support each other over some time. There was absolutely nothing wrong with your first post. There are quite a few very nice people in similar situations who help each other. Thus the hint to the thread.
