The cause?

I don't think we know the cause, it has been speculated but not proven, that there is a physical difference in the shape of the brain.

lesbians and men having similar brains
gay men and women having similar brains.

no studies that I found looked at transgender people.

some also believe it could do with the balance of hormones in a persons body.

It is believed that pyschological conditioning does not play a role in Orientation but can hinder or prevent a persons awareness of it eventually leading to cognitive dissonance.

 

In a nutshell... There are proposed explanations for benefits towards society as a whole, such as a reaction towards naturally controlling population size, and then there are proposed explanations that it's at least partly epigenetic in origin, which has to do with gene expression and how genes are turned on and off depending on certain factors.

There isn't any 100% accepted theory at the moment. It's very difficult to prove these things.

 

Aliens!

*hands out cookies to everyone who got the ref.*

Sorry if this seems a bit insensitive but, i personally can't be bothered to care. The stupid person that i am, i question the reason we have for always seeking explanation for everything?


Because, once you find the "solution" there is bound to be some idiot, somewhere, who comes up with a "cure" or something like that...

Not that people haven't tried, already.

 

Why can't it be like blue eyes? You can have two parents with brown eyes and their parents had brown eyes, but 5 generations ago their was a grandfather with blue eyes and the other significant other had a grandmother with blue eyes 8 generations ago.

We don't truly know why Brown eyes became dominate they just are.
And even though they thought Brown eyes were dominate it's more complicated than that...Eye color is like the wheel of fortune.

I read one study said it's a mixture of genes and hormones present during pregnancy. Life is not black and white and genes are not black a white. Little details can change the big picture.

I haven't met a gay/lesbian/transgender say it was a choice when it came to their sexuality.
So to me that is an indicator that sexuality just like eye color is above our power. Even gene manipulation is not a guarantee (for future generations.)

 

In a nutshell, the absence of evidence is not evidence of the absence of an explanation. We simply do not know yet, which enters into the category of failing, so far, to find a physical explanation for a behaviour.

Enter empiricism and the generally accepted definition of homosexuality as described by the American Psychological Association, here is an excerpt:

I would ask the OP why proof of homosexuality requires a physical correlate since birth when so many other well-characterized and well-accepted entrenched behaviours (and pathologies, which homosexuality is most emphatically not) are generally accepted without having a full physiological explanation.

Is it not unfair to subject homosexuality to a higher standard of proof than other built-in behaviours? Why do you use the pejorative of "pontification" when we assert that we have no choice in the matter, that we are indeed born this way?

With regard to studies, well, that is something I know something about, being in clinical research. There are good studies and there is everything else. The so-called studies prior to the late 1950's that associated homosexuality with pathology were indeed homophobic, biased and trash-worthy. Enter Dr. Evelyn Hooker who was determined to study the matter empirically:

Empiricism is the key word, when fanciful and unproven a-priori theories that are taken as "knowledge" and biases are thrown out the window, when potential fallacies are recognized and accounted for, science advances. Were it not for certain ancient Arabic doctors who dropped all the then-current fancy theories about how the body works and responds to treatment, and actually looked at their patients, medicine advanced. We all owe a great debt to them, we would not be living as long as we do.

From Nassim Taleb:

 

Hormones have a lot to do with it. But it's not just hormones. I agree that our orientation is set from birth, because if that wasn't the case then this forum wouldn't event exist.

How you were raised also plays a significant role, and many people fail to realize that. There's more to it than the biological aspect of the brain.

 

I've been thinking about thisfor a while, and it came to me
Maybe we shouldn't look for the cause of just homosexuality, maybe we should be looking for the cause for sexuality.

 

If destroying or altering such impulses is impossible, is accepting your sexuality a feasible alternative? It can be very difficult, but it can also be very liberating, to accept oneself in one's entirety... regardless of perceived flaws or drawbacks. I recognize that "yes" may not be an answer at the moment, but it is always a possibility and an option for you.

 

well mine is because a sexual assault by some one of the same sex when i was a kid slowly changed me into being bi

 

I would definitely look for counseling...

many people say the things they would change was listen a bit more to their heart...
but in balanced ways... not forgetting ones own needs, setting boundaries, etc...

this are things that might be integrated in steps... every journey starts with the first step... slowly but steadily... and sometimes if we accept ourselves we can grow over time in ways we would not have perceived before...

counseling might help here...

and its important to value little things along the way... to brighten our lives...


(*hug*)

 

Lets be honest... would it not be better just to accept, step by step, and live with it ?

The human existence is sometimes like that... if we learn to accept what we have, we can turn our experiences into a positive expansion of ourselves.

It is always a fault to look what others have... they have weak spots we do not have... and vice versa...

Part of this is imO a course of moderation and permanent correction... avoiding extremes, having fulfilled relationships without losing oneself etc... its all possible, millions have done it before. Each can go a way that makes them happy, step by step.

If there is a rose growing amongst tulips... does the rose want to change into a tulip ? Its a rose... with other advantages than tulips... and it can be wonderful if accepted without prejudice...

 

Let me get this straight though, you don't want any sexual/romantic attraction with men, women, both?? You have urges you don't want to act on because you find those acts abhorrent?

You have to accept what is in your heart and head before you can think about changing it, from my experience. That doesn't mean embracing it, just come to grips with it. These urges come from somewhere, you are trying to find an answer that no one but you can answer. You may want professional help with walking through this process.

I guess the alternative us you could try a chemical lobotomy or something, but I think they are going to want to put you through therapy before that.

I think everyone's experience, thoughts, emotions, are so personal and unique that there is no "one size fits all" answer that's going to suit you. The brain is a very mushy, flexible organ. We don't understand it completely.

 

I've gone and read some of your previous posts. I think you need to figure out why you feel guilty about wanting/acting on your gay impulses. Maybe it is the interaction with the gay bully that has you bottled up. The guilt and self-loathing are the symptoms of a larger problem. Just my opinions. Has opening up on this site helped with dealing with these things?

Just so you know, my first sexual experience with a woman was not satisfactory. Neither was my first blow job from a guy. Nerves, stress, lot's of things effect performance. After the first time with a woman I never had a problem in my 20's and 30's. My 40's, well physiology is catching up, as well as a couple of medicines I'm on. Still have the libido, just sometimes the equipment doesn't want to perform (I've got a pill for those times.

Take care, and try to keep those demons at bay.