Hi. Im a 13 yr old boy in puberty. Ive been questioning my sexuality for like the past 8 months. Im to the point where i domt even know my sexuality. I need your help. Please. Im going to tell u everything thats in my head and in the past 8 months. Please honestly tell me what i am. I cant deal with this anymore. Im startingto get depressed. Ok, so as u know im 13 and im a guy. Im in puberty. I think im farther in puberty then most people my age though. Im bigger then all the other kids and a lot more mature. Id say im in the 14-16 stages of* puberty. Over the summer i had a phase which lasted about a month where i was worrying i was crazy and was going to become a serial killer. Lierally right after that phase (the night after) i randomly thought "what if im gay?". And i was like hell no and went to bed. Then the same thought came back, and i cant stop asking myself tht question. I watched a full 25 min gay porn video and got no erection what so ever. I watched a like 8 min straight porn video and got a full erection. I even rewatched it and masterbated to it. Then a bit later, i fantasized about having sex with hot girls in my school. I got a full erection. Next i fantasized about havi sex with what the girls consider the hot guys. I got no erection. Although i have to admit i got a few tingles here and there. I think its because of the fact tht it was sex. I dont know. Anyway, about 3 days ago i saw one of my guy friends naked and i got no erection and my body automaticly looked away. Later his sister came into the room and her butt pressed against my crouch and i got a full erection. I later masterbated to this. *I also only masterbate to girls. Never guys. Ive never had a crush on a guy before. Ive had a lot of crushes on girls before. Its kind of hard to remmember how i felt when i had the crushes tho. Also i realized my sex drive decreased A LOT. I used to have a high sex drive and now i dont care as much for sex as i used to. Also ever since this started, ive been finding guys good looking, which ive never really been able to do in the past. Nothing sexual though. I just find them good looking. *Also im not finding girls as hot as i used to. I mean i still find them hot, just not as hot as i used to. And its harder to get turned on now. Like i said my sex drive is low. I think its because im so stressed out? I dont know. Im a big stresser though. I was scared of zombies when i was younger for like 2 years. Im just so worried. I dont have a problem with gays, its just not my cup of tea. I really dont want to be gay. Id be ok with being EVERYTHING but gay. I dont know its just the thought of me being gay which stresses me out. So please can you tell me what i am. I honestly dont know myself. Based on what i said, what am i? Thanks for reading. (and yes i am 13 most people think im older because of how i type)
First of you are WAY too young to be this stressed about your sexuality. I'm 18 and I'm still unsure of my sexuality. You just started puberty not too long ago, so along with your voice changes, etc your hormones will be changing as well. I strongly advise you to not use porn as an indicator for sexual orientation. Porn is a method of sexual release. What you like in porn is not necessarily something you will like in the real world. Fantasy =/= Reality. For example, anal sex with no protection. People in porn do it all the time, and while people find that arousing (myself included), would I actually do anal sex with no protection? No! Why? Because I don't want to contract HIV. People watch porn because it's what they want, but is unobtainable in reality. Porn is used as an escape, not for sexual orientation.
Hi! I understand that it's hard and confusing, I've been there myself. And I also understand that because you're more mature than most 13 year olds, you may feel older than you actually are and you start worrying about this stuff now. I know everybody hate these answers, but no one besides you can tell you what your sexuality is. You just gotta wait and see. But just as Jax said, please don't use porn to figure this out. Instead, ask yourself if you get crushes on girls, guys or both. (Or other genders, but I'm not going into that right now.) You just got to be patient. I wish you the best.
