There has always been the possibility of me being a lesbian, its just always been a lingering thing, that might happen to be me... But recently it has become a more pressing matter. I have boyfriend, I've been going out with him for 3 weeks now and its cool but I am friends with this girl and she catches my eye, but she is so much more amazing than what I originally thought. My boyfriend and I had a small issue, because I was having a crap day and didn't feel like being all cuddly, and that is just me. I need time to myself more often than not, but he doesn't seem to get that, I have tried telling him but i get no normal response, (a normal response being, okay that's cool, just text me when you are okay) I get a moody boyfriend for 10 mins then a "I'm sorry" This has happened at least 3-4 times. During this ten minutes, I feel like crap, because I think that I'm in the wrong for not being "girlfriend-y" even though I know I don't have to be girlfriend-y if I don't feel like it. I can't deal with him being clingy and strange after three weeks. Yesterday morning he said he thinks he is falling for me which doesn't help as I don't want to cause anyone pain. I don't want to do that to someone but I also don't want to feel like I do when he gets annoyed for no reason. But with this girl, we were making cupcakes for Halloween and we just sat there icing these cakes and just talking and it was so natural, and we have flirted for a while, and it is just so nice. On a different yet similar subject, I am crap at actually talking to people, i get scared differ and end up dealing with my feelings alone because i cannot get what i want to say out of my brain into actual words, so if I want to talk to him, I can't. I don't think I would even be able to talk to this girl about how I feel. And all I want to say is that I like him a lot, i do but I can't be in a relationship now because I am going through stuff that I think only I can deal with. I cant say that because I know that the second I do I will feel like crap, and I don't think I can handle that right now. (Uni Work is getting to me as well as family issues) I just need help because if i do choose to experiment or if I am a lesbian, I don't want to hurt anyone, yet in this relationship we will both get hurt, but I like them both. Please Help.
I think if you don't want to be in a relationship right now then that's fine. I know you said you don't want to hurt your boyfriend but if you feel like you can't handle being with him then breaking up is fine! If the only problem you have with your boyfriend is that he's a bit clingy, just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel, maybe that helps. But if you want to see where your relationship with that girl might lead, I think you should break up with your boyfriend first. Otherwise it's just not fair to him. You sound like you're quite stressed out by your current situation (not just with your boyfriend but you also mentioned uni and family issues) so maybe you could talk to a friend or to someone at your uni? You can get some counselling at many unis, so if you think that might help, maybe check if your uni offers something like that.
