1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Being a lesbian and misogynistic.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Alais, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. Alais

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    So perhaps a similar way that some people who are homophobic hide their true homosexuality/bi-pan-sexuality, I think I might have been and maybe still am misogynistic towards women to hide being a lesbian.I don't know if this is socially conditioned, or perhaps its just a preference I have towards men, or downright misogyny.

    Anyway so most of my life I have been closer to male friends, I am living in a flat currently with three guys. Whilst I was a tomboy when younger, I might just add I don't think this is some kind of externalised gender identity confusion.

    I want to add that on every conscious level I believe women should be equal and am a feminist, but I feel like I've been getting these thoughts throughout life that women are over-emotional, vane and talk about topics I don't enjoy. (I realise none of this is true).
    This is not my ongoing thoughts, just those pop-up prejudices that appear sometimes, and you are like 'Hello!' what I'm a feminist how can this be right?

    And yet I have realised through the last few months that I am a lesbian (although I have a 5% doubt, I am confident enough to have come out to several people).

    Part of me just worries about having to spend time (in a relationship) with a woman, because only over the last two years or so have I been able to bond with female friends. But I am not sexually interested in guys, but perhaps still romantically attracted to them.

    Do you think this inability to be friends with girls, fear of their reactions and disrespect towards them was a cover for a longing to be with a woman? I feel like there were no signs of my lesbianism, and I haven't seen this idea discussed elsewhere. The cliche of lesbians having lesbian friends terrifies me, without the presence of men. As I spend more time accepting myself the ability to be with women has increased, but I still fell awkward. It results in things like being scared my female tutor will criticise me, when I would just brush off criticism from my male tutor.

    Help me un-confuse myself.
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2014
    Messages:
    1,599
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    You might just take it easy... learn to relax a bit more, and be in the moment and enjoy... maybe this overthinking and distracting thoughts become less, you do not have any feeling to act on them...