I am a sixteen year old gay boy. I know that I am gay for I have never thought of a woman sexually in my life. I am definitely attracted to men and would be glad to have sex with one. However I find it a struggle to transition my brain to see the love part of a gay relationship. I love seeing other gay couples in love, I find it so cute, but when I think about myself with a boy its always sex and then I see myself with a girl for romantic sappy stuff. Its like my brain can't transition to seeing myself in a relationship with a boy because my mind is so brainwashed to see a boy and girl together. I am starting to look at guys and see there cute charm rather than their ass, but I still can't picture the realtionship. Please help!!:bang::tears:
Y'know, I sometimes felt that way when I was your age. Like you, I guessed it was because I was so indoctrinated with the idea of a male/female romantic relationship that I couldn't really imagine what a happy, gay relationship would look like. It took me a while to picture myself like that. Actually, it was only really when I met someone that I really liked that I understood what it was all about. Perhaps it's the same with you! Of course there is the possibility that you are sexually attracted to males and romantically attracted to females but to be honest with you I think it's too early to say at this stage! You are young and have lots of experience ahead of you. Keep an open mind, is my advice.
Don't worry. In high school everyone is still trying to figure things out, even if it has nothing to do with sexuality. It wasn't until the spring of my junior year (only about 7-8 months ago) that I could have ever seen myself in a relationship with a guy. Just love yourself for who you are and keep an open mind, and everything will fall into place.
One of the reasons it is hard to picture such a relationship is that our culture still considers it "strange", how many gay couples do you see in movies or advertising? We simply have no models to follow, no idea of what it could be like. I know it seems inconceivable, you're still so young, but a guy will come along one day who will sweep you off your feet, and you won't know how you could ever feel so deeply in love with another human being...what you need right now is patience and an open heart!
It could definitely be some internalized homophobia, possibly. You find other couples cute but you yourself couldn't picture yourself with a guy. It's likely because you were raised in a society where man & woman are the "way it is supposed to be". I actually was the exact same, I wanted to have sex with men but I could only picture being in a relationship with a girl. I think the thing that helped me was exposure to gay romance, such as "Lush" on YouTube and seeing them be so happy. I also started flirting with guys to see if anything changed And, here I am, 2 years later, 100% gay and already having been in a relationship with a guy! Don't stress it too much, it's all part of discovering your sexual orientation. You'll get it figured out I suggest maybe watching youtube videos of gay couples and seeing them interact, and just looking up a bunch of pro-gay types of informative things and maybe it'll help. Good luck (*hug*)
I never considered the idea of having a romantic relationship with a guy. Here I am at 50, and I've met the cutest, sweetest young man. We've connected so deeply, I could see being romantic with him. I told him, I could see partnering with him if the spark happened. Heck, 3rd or 4th day I knew him I was giving him a gift, that's how sappy I was to meet someone I could be open with. Gave him an 1882 Morgan Silver Dollar, because the one thing I wanted him to have was perspective, and something older than me to remember me by. You don't have to figure out everything at your age. Give yourself time to date, and enjoy that. Finding the "right" one will happen in its own time.
