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What's the worst part of being gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PositivelyMe, Nov 13, 2014.

  1. PositivelyMe

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    For me, it's knowing I may lose friends over it.
     
    #1 PositivelyMe, Nov 13, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2014
  2. Fallingdown7

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    Re: What's the hardest part of being gay for you?

    Heterosexism. All the heterosexism. You can't even escape it from being around other gay people.
     
  3. stocking

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    The dating pool is small, having to deal with heterosexual men that can't accept that I'm not attracted to men.:tantrum:
     
  4. Andronas

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    I agree that the worst part of being gay is the small dating pool. I'm 26 and to now have never been in a relationship despite searching for one. I often imagine a world of nothing but gay men. It's a nice fantasy that makes me feel better sometimes. I realize it's not reality. It's simply my anodyne.
     
  5. HM03

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    Ignorant homophobic people.
     
  6. One Man Army

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    Knowing that the majority of people are going to have some pre-conceived ideas about you as soon as you mention you're gay.
     
  7. ChameleonSoul

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    All of the people that will judge and stereotype you, even if it isn't done intentionally.
     
  8. NamesNotJake

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    Being outed, and homophobia/ignorance and stereotypes about gays.
     
  9. Damien

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    Not knowing until you're in your forties.
     
  10. shinji

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    Having to explain to someone what "pansexual" means, when they even fail to grasp the concept of "gay". It's like, harder than explaining anime to a person who has never watched any...

    But, yeah... smaller dating pool is kind of shit. Although i have to be honest, the majority of the people, whom i think are interesting and unique, are... also LGBT. Straight people are boring, most of them.
     
  11. BMC77

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    For me...

    Different "worst" things at different times in my life.

    In my past, it's hard to say. I have some sadness that I couldn't date like straight teenagers. But probably the biggest problem was the feeling society clubbed into me that "gay is bad."

    Today's worst problem: there are people who would not like the fact I'm gay, and could cause practical problems. Thus I can't be fully out. I live with some stress at being accidentally outed.

    Longer term: the limited dating pool.

    "Someday" I hope to reach a place where for me "worst" is nothing more than an annoyance, like hearing loud mouthed homophobes, whom I can tune out.
     
    #11 BMC77, Nov 13, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2014
  12. YuriBunny

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    Coming out to close friends/family. I was so scared when I came out to my parents.

    Either that or the whole feeling of being different and not fitting in. I feel awkward when my straight female friends talk about boys around me, and I am unable to contribute to the conversation or relate to their excitement.
     
  13. MissRanger

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    There is a lot of worst things when it comes to being gay. One of my biggest fears is losing anyone and being treated differently because of my orientation. Knowing there's a lot of stigma against it and having to deal with a lot of homophobia and ignorance from bigoted people. Feeling you are isolated, alone, and treated less in this "straight world". Having to repressed or stay in a closet (especially if you are in bigoted area) and not express yourself out to everyone.
     
  14. jas4109

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    Damian I can sympathize
     
  15. greatwhale

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    I guess the sexual preferences between partners (as opposed to orientation) that run the whole gamut: top, bottom, versa, sideways...whatever. It makes for complicated sexual compatibility issues, which in turn complicate the prospects for long-term relationships.

    But this is also what is so great about being gay; because it forces both to communicate what their preferences are. It's a lot more obvious what a man and a woman can do, not so obvious in same-sex relations.
     
  16. alwaysforever

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    I think the hardest part for me is dealing with the people being afraid of me because of what I may feel for them or what they may feel for me. It's really heartbreaking to be seen as not worth the risk because of circumstances, even if I know I am not all that special.
     
  17. thekillingmoon

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    I expect most will say homophobia, but to me struggling to find someone to date is a lot worse. If you're not a social person and don't know any gay people, you could be forever alone.
     
  18. The Virgo

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    The fact that i'm gonna try doing drag... and some gay men say " i want a real man" drag is just a job not my lifestyle
     
  19. Andronas

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    Yeah. I can agree wholeheartedly that this is an issue. It makes me feel like I want to communicate my preferences early on. It would suck to talk to a guy for 3 months and then discover that we're sexually incompatible. That would feel like a waste of time. And therefore that also forces us to talk about sex at an earlier stage than might be best for the romantic/emotional side of the equation. I wish there were a way around it.
     
  20. Benway

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    The worst thing about it... It ruined my life, my senior year in high school, it cost me my best friend, it cost me my chances with the only woman I will ever love and it makes me wake up hating myself more and more for it every day.
     
    #20 Benway, Nov 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2014