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Lesbian, bi, queer... or something else?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by patternsofpetal, Nov 15, 2014.

  1. patternsofpetal

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    My first romantic feelings as a young girl were formed towards women, but only on an emotional level. I've always desired close emotional relationship with a woman older than me. I didn't really know what that meant, but this was the type of connection I longed for.

    When I was a teenager, I experienced some physical attraction towards men, and I always imagined myself in sexual relationships with male celebrities, for instance, but in real life I did not encounter any person my age who I found attractive. I found some of the boys sexually attractive, but this was never enough for me to form a lasting relationship with any of them. At the same time, I have always been emotionally involved with women older than me (never the usual I'm in love with my best friend dilemma), but the nature of those connections remained romantic and not physical, and of course, these women had no idea that I was attracted.

    A few a months ago I fell in love with another woman, and now my feelings are definitely physical as well. I decided a few weeks ago that if I want to experience mutual love, I should slowly start my coming out process, maybe only contact some LGBT people first, because it feels stifling that I can't be honest about this with anyone.. only I don't really know how to label all this... I mean I'm obviously inexperienced, and for now I still feel like I desire a relationship with a woman, but my attractions confuse me...I've always thought I was a lesbian, but I'm still young, and who knows how I would relate to men emotionally at some point in my life...

    What do you suggest, should I wait longer(it's getting too much..) or come out, but then how to identify is a question I can't answer. If you have any advice, I would appreciate it.
     
    #1 patternsofpetal, Nov 15, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2014
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    What do your feelings tell you ? Would you feel relieved if coming out ?

    If you feel you would need more time, just take your time ...

    how you identify... maybe saying you like girls for now...

    and well its human not to be 100% certain...


    (*hug*)
     
  3. patternsofpetal

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thank you for your answer. It would give me relief to come out, but for months now I have felt better even by basically allowing myself to think of my identity as lesbian or queer. It starts to feel comfortable, but at the same time, as you can see I have many doubts about the whole thing, it's so elusive. The fact that there's not much of a gay community in my city gives me no space to compare my experiences or try to bond...I'm in my early twenties, and I feel like I'm missing out on something by letting people assume I'm heterosexual..The fact that I'm a "femme" makes me completely invisible, and that hurts.
     
    #3 patternsofpetal, Nov 17, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2014