I was just wondering if it's possible to stop crushes from happening, or if it's something uncontrollable. I've never really had crushes on anyone before, and I don't even try to with girls because I know there's no point since I don't stand a chance. I've never had much crushes on guys other than the ones I faked a while back in high school. I guess I don't what having a true crush feels like except for the ones I make up in my head, but never really an actual person. Is it possible that I'm suppressing them subconsciously, or have I just not experienced the right person yet?
I was once really, really smitten with a downtown "suit" I'd see on my daily commute after disembarking from the train. I found him riveting. I moved out of state and still thought about when I'd pass him on the street back home. Time and absence cured that. For you, time and absence can cure it for you - as in being away form them. Also, if you do get to know them, I can tell you that some intensive man crushes faded after getting to know them and seeing what ass holes they were/are. That could work, too.
I would say that you haven't meet the right one either female or male. When you find the right person you will know without a doubt.. Crushes happen to everyone it's something you can not control.I would say give the girls a chance, whats the worst that can happen, they say no and you keep looking for the right one. She or he will come along and will knock your socks off! So with that being said I want to wish you the best of luck!
"I was just wondering if it's possible to stop crushes from happening, or if it's something uncontrollable." -To this, I would say no. A crush is something that naturally happens. If it was something we could control, the word would be a different word/phrase. You cannot prevent how you feel. I look at it like; I cannot control an intensity of pain. You know? Like those thing just naturally happen. "I don't even try to with girls because I know there's no point since I don't stand a chance." -How do you know you don't have a chance if you have never attempted? I used to say the same thing way back when, and I realized when you remove the negative thoughts, people will start coming to you. Maybe not as soon as you'd like, but they will come. ♥ Maybe try improving this area. "Is it possible that I'm suppressing them subconsciously, or have I just not experienced the right person yet?" -To this, I think you are in a way hiding them; because you will not allow yourself to attempt with anyone (like previously stated). You can't find the right person if you don't allow yourself to open up a little bit to others! ♥ but don't worry! you will get someone who is right for you! ♥
I never really have crushes either, but it happens on a rare basis. I guess It's because my standards are so high and I want to stay single, that I don't care to give anyone a chance. Maybe It's the fear for you too?
I don't know if everyone gets them. I've known people who didn't seem to have this problem, and I envied them so much. :redface: Once it gets established I have no control over a crush, but if I catch it early enough I can nip it in the bud. It's easier if you know you have no chance, or don't want it to happen. I think I probably subconsciously suppressed it with women, there have been a couple that I probably would have crushed on if I had allowed myself to do so. So I do think that's it's possible you might be suppressing it as well.
Thanks for the replies, I will try to let my guard down more and see what happens. Then again, that may not be a good idea, but I won't try and suppress it.
I've had a crush on a girl since I was 12. Now I'm 18, and I still have a crush on her. To be honest I'm just too scared to ask her out... So in my case it's not possible to make crushes go away, unless you don't see them anymore. That happened with my first relationship a couple months ago, where although I wanted to be with her, not seeing her anymore made the "want" disappear. A crush is like your interests. I don't think I chose to be interested in video games, and I don't think I chose to be interested in certain sports. It's different for everyone.
What's the worst that can happen, you'd be rejected. The thing with me is that my body gets in the way of me living my life as a normal guy. That makes it very difficult for me to be attractive to most females sexually. Thus, I don't ever try flirting and whenever I find myself checking them out I make sure they don't see me because it would weird them out, plus I look like a pre-pubescent boy and a lot of people that don't know me assume I am. No one believes me when I tell them my age. Again, I just wish I was a normal guy, not trans. I think that's why I don't get crushes, because I know it will only cause pain, so I prevent them from happening.
It's a shame you can't find girls that are into trans guys, because I do know they exist, even purely cishetero ones. Just takes a while to find the right person.
