I posted previously about my wondering of whether or not I'm really even into men, or if my experiences with men (including a marriage) have just been about "should" and the fact that my ex seemed in all other ways, my perfect partner. (when I married him that it) Okay, so shortly after my divorce, I met this guy through friends and figured, hey he can be my rebound guy. Neither one of us was looking for something serious. At first he was really flirty but then after we hung out alone, the flirting stopped and he didn't ask me out on any more date like activities. More just friend type stuff. He has been on my Facebook and still chats with me rather frequently. Hey, sometimes there just isnt a spark. Thats cool. It was a little weird because he was SOOO flirty at first. But, he's cool as a friend. I havent thought about it for months, especially since I've not really been in the mood to rebound now anyway. He messaged me a few minutes ago and we were chatting and he got a little flirty again and then immediately apologized and moved on. It just seemed weird. So I got bold and asked him why he never made a move even though he seems to like flirting with me Anyway, his response was "I was really into you, when I met you. And once we started hanging out alone I thought maybe you were gay. I couldn't really tell, but I was pretty sure and I felt awkward just asking." Oh...well....thats never happened. Made me smile tho haha ***Oops I meant to put this in the chit chat place. Admin please move if necessary**
I don't know if you are a lesbian or bisexual or straight. No one knows your sexuality only you yourself. If you are questioning your sexuality examine your feelings towards men vs women. Have you ever thought of a man sexually? If the answer is yes, next question is..How did you feel having sex with men? Did you enjoy it and just me personally emotionally did you like to be sexually with a man? Sometimes being in a bad relationship can cloud your true emotions. So like you may feel very depress or unhappy in the relationship. But, the question is are you depress and unhappy because it is not the gender you are truly attracted to or if it is because of the interaction or both? Can you name any crushes on girls in the past? How does this differ from crushes on guy? Just really examine your emotions and sexual attraction, both now and back in time. But, Honestly no one knows your sexuality. It is you to figure out. Maybe the next question to ask the guy is "why did he think you were gay?" Some people will think you are gay if they feel you aren't really reciprocating the flirting back fully. And you may not seem fully open to men right now because you just got divorce. Subconsciously you just may not be ready for a relationship and this man is picking up on that, in which he is taking it as your gay than really you are just not ready. My last question is.. do you think you are a lesbian or bisexual? If so why? I hope this helped a little. I can only share my experience in discovering my sexuality.
@seeking You bring up some great points there. I am also in confusion as to whether I am truly attracted to men or women. Maybe both, but I'm still not sure. I know porn is a terrible way to indicate sexuality, and I'm a victim of this myself. If we talk about physical appearance, like the masculine/bear type guys in porn, I'll have these sexual thoughts about them but as soon as I have a conversation with them the urges/thoughts are gone. It tells me that in reality I wouldn't want to have a relationship with this man. Being friends with him would be cool, but I don't want to date him (for one, he's way older than me, and two, he's a father!). Kinda gross how I seek father/son relationships, but I think that's one of my fetishes that have manifested from porn. I should also mention that I have no pull towards guys my age. I would assume that if you are attracted to a gender, you would have more friends of the gender that you are not attracted to. I think in general, porn has made me believe that I'm gay. Still not sure if this holds true or not. I'm not comfortable with dating guys, but I just don't have any feelings for them. I don't think you can suppress these feelings, right? You either have em or you don't I get flirty with girls, but is it because society taught us it's okay to flirt with the opposite gender, or is it because I actually have a thing for them?
Hope it is okay to answer your post. For me fantasy and reality are two different things. I could think of being with a man like kissing him and more. But, when it came to actually doing it. It felt wrong, uncomfortable...I can only really relate it to feeling violated (even though that is an extreme word.) When i am sexually and emotionally into a girl it is like day and night. Those sexual and emotional feelings don't come from my mind they come from my soul. With men it is like i have to pep talk myself into being into the guy. I say if when it comes to talking to guys and trying to get with them romantically/physically then i would question. Why do i feel this way? Is this truly an uncomfortable/unnatural feeling or is this just society's idea of norms making me feel this way? I kinda agree and i kinda do not agree with your statement that your friends would be in the majority of gender that you are not attracted to. But, at the same time i can agree. Because if i am friends with a pretty girl and i get to know her. I develop a huge crush and those huge crushes usually drain my bank account lol. When i was younger i mostly hung with guys because i could relate to them more and we would talk about girl... like girls making out in the stall of an olive garden. I remember i told that story and i was only in 4th grade rofl!! I still laugh at that it's like WOW i was even demonstrating my sexual attraction that way. I have other stories that were clue of my sexuality before i turned age 12 and really questioned my sexuality. My last response is take your time and really notice your emotions during situations? Your emotions will say yuck when it doesn't like something (at least from my experience.) Hope this helped a bit for both Jax12 and OP
