Am I gay?

It's quite simple really:

Do you want to have sex with men only? you're gay!
Do you want to have sex with women, too? you're bi!
Do you want to have sex with women only? you're straight!
Do you want to have sex with anyone really? you're pansexual!
Don't want to have sex at all? you're asexual!

Don't worry too much about labels (*hug*)

 

I say porn isn't a good indicator b/c fantasy and reality are two different things.

My advice is follow your heart/desires and see what you learn about yourself.

If there is a guy you like...ask him out and try dating him. From following your attraction...you'll figure out what type of attraction you have.

Also ask yourself, have i ever had a crush on a guy? How does my crushes differ between men vs. women? Really analyze your past and present to have an idea where you stand on the spectrum. But this is just my experience, following your desires and pursuing them will help you figure out in actuality if you really like what you think you may like or think you may not like.

I don't think every gay man has anal sex or wants anal sex. So you might fall in that category.

 

While we as humans would like to simplify things down to its very core, it can't be done with sexual orientation. Sex is the most minimal part of a relationship. If it was the main part of a relationship then the world would be overpopulated.

Ok sure you see that person over there and you think Oh! I want it have sex with that person. So you'll begin to develop a fantasy about how good it will feel, but like porn, it disregards the emotional/romantic part of a relationship. That's what porn is: it's just people having sex. Porn is like a shortcut to sex. In reality, real sex with the person you love isnt the same as porn at all.

So don't use porn as an indicator of your orientation. Porn is stimulating because you are viewing it, but what happens if you were participating in it? Would you still feel the same?

 

Except he isn't talking about relationships but wether he might be gay because he likes dicks and the idea of a guy "doing anything" to him except anal, so what's your point exactly? Also, the whole purpose of labels/categories is simplification (that's why wrote to not worry too much about them).

Let me quote a dictionary (Oxford) on this one:

gay: "A homosexual, especially a man."
homosexual: "A person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex."
bisexual: "A person who is sexually attracted to both men and women."
pansexual: "Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity."
heterosexual: "(Of a person) sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex."

edit: this came across kinda bitchy, no offense

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem almost scared of the possibility that you're gay. It's no big deal man. People are all different. There's no shame. But anyway, you can be sexually attracted to both genders but only feel romantic towards women. I was like that for a little while until I started dating a pansexual guy. So basically, the way you feel can change so just be patient and see how it goes.

 

Straight guy with intense fetish? Bi-curious?

It sounds like you lean towards straight or a little bi to me on what little you've given, but it's too little to make much of it.

 

You're bisexual.

Remember that anal sex is unrelated to homosexuality, many homosexuals don't bother with it.

Also; being bisexual doesn't mean that you can't like men more, or women more. But you fall into the category.

 

All good bro. We're all entitled to our own opinions. I think I misinterpreted yours a bit, so my apologizes on that. You are correct that when it comes to the simple definitions on what it means, being gay (for example) would mean that you want to have sex with a guy, and not a woman.

To OP:
For me, gay porn got me off. While straight/lesbian porn also got me off, gay porn was preferred. There was something about gay porn that was more exciting. In the beginning I found lesbian porn to be boring (not disgusting) because there wasn't any penetration involved; it was basically two empty sockets.

My porn has went from all types of porn, but it's been gay porn that got me off. However when I experienced a webcam session with a guy near my area, it felt weird. And above all, it didn't feel right. The idea of being gay wasn't the part I was concerned of, the idea that I was carrying out my fantasies made me feel guilty, and thus made me realize the severity of my porn addiction.

So if we were to limit ourselves to the definitions that Pleione provided for us, the porn we watch would serve as an indicator for our sexual orientation. This does not align with me, nor does it align with everyone else.

kumawool does bring up an interesting point, and that not all gay couples will want anal sex. Some straight couples will experience anal sex, if they're open to it.


I think that one of the indicators you should be looking for is your past crushes (and try not to involve porn into this). Did you feel more abstract attraction towards guys or girls? Maybe both? How about now? Have your attractions changed? For me I never had the "pull" towards guys, despite having to watch gay porn for at least 4 years (it was only porn with much older men, so if there's any sexual thoughts, it would only be with older men). I may have some penis fetish or some sort, as DoriaN suggests, but I think in my case there's more to it than staring at someone's crotch, or admiring their buff body shape. Girls do that, they compliment each other on their breasts, body, ass, etc. Does that mean their lesbian? Not necessarily. You don't see guys doing that though, now do you?

I have never had a desire to date a man, nor do I intend to. I'm open to the idea of it though, since I'm looking into this male-attraction more.