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Am I atually gay not bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by GhostNeko, Nov 23, 2014.

  1. GhostNeko

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    I'm having trouble realizing what I am. I grew up in a straight community, but I love men more than women. Am I bi...? Or gay...? I've been questioning this for a couple days, and since I was on this site for a week or so due to problems with past friends, I thought why not try to ask random strangers for help to see if I'm bi or gay.
     
  2. Jax12

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    How do you feel with either gender? Who do you see as a friend, and who do you see more than that?

    Majority of my friends are guys because we're good buddies. I see guys as people that I can hang out with because we have similar interests. But how does this differ from having feelings for someone? Only you would know. It'll be distinctive, and sometimes will be hard to explain.

    You say you are attracted more to men, but in what way? What is it that you like about men?

    Are you attracted to men because you have feelings for them or do you have admiration towards them?
     
  3. GhostNeko

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    Well, I tend to have better relationships with men. And they seem to always come to mind before women. And, physically(and 98% mentally), I find them more attractive. But I feel as if part of me only loves women because I grew up in a straight community. Which is why I'm confused.
     
  4. Jax12

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    I've grown up in a straight community as well. I also go to church but we don't talk about homosexuals and whatnot. We're more about the person.

    Anyways, I always thought I was gay because I had these gay thoughts. Add soon as I realized that I was staring at a guys bulge I instantly thought I was gay. Then I imagined having sex with them and then I realized yup I'm gay. But when I acted out my fantasies with an older man near my area, it felt awkward and it didn't feel right. In retrospect, I never had any feelings towards guys, it's only been with girls.

    So looking back at your post crushes could help you out as well. Just watch for how you feel when you're with the person. If you had an attraction to them before, is it still there even after the conversation is done?

    And you're quite young so dont stress on this too much. I'm 18 now and I'm still unsure about a lot of things. It'll take time, and you'll realize a lot more about yourself as you get older.
     
  5. shinji

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    Close your eyes... think. Imagine finding that special someone, the one who will make you happy, the one who your heart will race for, the one who will mean the world to you.

    Now tell me, did you imagine a guy or a girl?

    There's your answer.

    You don't have to be 100% attracted to either girls or guys, as long as you realize to which of the two you feel more attracted to. Bisexuality comes into play where said attraction is (to put it bluntly) something like 50/50, even if, not exactly.
     
  6. Jax12

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    I'm sorry but I will have to disagree with this part of your post. Imagining the perfect someone in your mind is just as misleading as using porn to determine your orientation. When people are lost and desperate, they are willing to do anything.

    The only way for people to realize where they fall on the sexuality spectrum is where their feelings are, and who they are directed to. You can love your parents, but you won't be able to love your partner the same way you love your parents.

    But on the contrary, I will agree with you on this. Bisexuality, as to my understanding, is when you experience feelings for both males and females. I'm not sure if anyone in the world is 50/50, but that's not to say that there isn't; males and females are unique in their own ways.
     
  7. I am Kakashi

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    I must strongly agree with the bolded part. 1) Who you feel MORE attracted to is irrelevant, mainly because it will most often change multiple times in your life. 2) Bisexuality "comes into play" when you like both males and females, regardless of %. Could be 99/1. Veeeeeery few people are 50/50 attracted to males and females. And again, it changes. I understand the need to be blunt/ keeping it short and simple. But I think you may have been over-simplifying juuust a bit.
     
  8. ScrambledBrain

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    How can I close my eyes and read at the same time? lol (!)