I've got a problem guys and girls. I'm starting to think that I'm gay. When I was young I got a bj and gave one to this boy in my neighborhood. I was really young maybe 6. He throatfucked me. I did not do it to him just let him suck. I felt weird after but Idk if it was good or bad. More of a numb feeling. Years later (22 now) I've had sex with a couple girls yet they always tell my I'm gay during sex. Everyone except my first and 2 others. My dick is hard before and goes limp right after sex. only 2/3 during sex which mean it stays up inside of the girl but is like a straw. It's not firm. The girls saying "your so gay" really makes it worse. I also was raped and have a bad odor which also makes people call me gay. It's really messing me up inside. I'm losing hair and sleep. I've started looking at guys. Never get boners but some guys are cute just eyes. I get hit on by girls and just ignore them. I like the attention but I can't hadle talking to girls at all. It's worse since I smell bad. I've always been nervous around girls but I'm also nervous around guys now since the rape so they think I'm gay I pretend not to be watching them like I do with girls. It's weird because think I'm gay because I don't get close or try to hit on them just wait til the leave and check them out. I get hit on by guys a lot but more girls. I also masturbate a lot (2 times min. 5 times max) everyday. It's to straight porn or lesbian porn but it different cuz some times I get really hard but get kind of soft before I cum. Or sometimes it does get really hard at all. Don't wanna gross ppl out but this really sucks donkey ass. I'm so lost I don't know what to do.:bang:
Okay, let's break this down a bit. Any experimenting you did at such a young age (I usually ball park anything under 10) is almost always irrelevant to your actual orientation. It was just you and the boy being curious. Not being able to have a rock hard erection during all of intercourse is also not always a sign of homosexuality, although it could be the sign of performance anxiety or something else, psychological or physical. You being raped, completely irrelevant to your orientation. You having a strong body odor, completely irrelevant to your orientation. Although it is something you might want to get checked out. If it is offensive to others, it is likely you have a glandular or some other physical problem. Especially when paired with other issues (potential/ ocassional ED). You being unable to engage in flirting or even casual convo, but feel comfortable checking them out, guy or girl, is a common situation after someone is assaulted. Potential PTSD, or other effects from the rape. I would also see a counselor who deals with rpe victims, after seeing a regular doc about the other stuff. Frequent masturbation isn't something I'd be TOO worried about, unless is it becoming a compulsion, especially if it onlt started after the rape. And is most likely also psychological in nature. WHAT you masturbate to is also a very bad indicator of orientation. And not being/ staying hard is msot likely related to/ caused by the same issues that cause it during sex. Sexually experiemntation at a young age, and being sexually assaulted, can grievously effect your whole outlook of your sexuality, and cause so many problems on it's own. I would get to a regular doctor, and a therapist ASAP!
