This has been very hard for me. For a long time I have simply tried to ignore the signs... But it has caused a new predicament in my life. I am (obviously) having issues with my sexuality. I have an incredible Boyfriend whom I love very much. I feel like I might be Bisexual. And it was literally moments ago when I officially came to terms with this. My boyfriend and I have been together for some time now. And when we have sex it is a true rarity that I ever get off. It was tonight that we were trying to make love... I was trying so hard. I am really tired of having to please myself. It shouldn't be that way. I should be able to count on my man to please me. And when I realized that I wasn't going to climax... and I truly knew what this meant I started to cry.. Don't get me wrong. I am all for gay rights and am very supportive of my friends who are gay.. I cried because I know that I am sexually attracted to women. Now here's the other thing. I know I'm not gay. I am attracted to men. I have never looked at a women and felt like I liked her. I have never had a "crush" on a woman. I have always had feelings for men. But when it comes to sex.. Well that's a different story. The idea of having sex with another woman turns me on. Now back to the crying part. With being in a very loving relationship I feel like it is betrayal to need a woman to satisfy me sexually. He has a right to me able to do that. I don't LIKE women relationship wise. I have never thought that a girl or women was cute. I think guys are hot and/or cute. But I have known that women turn me on for years. I have also never had a sexual encounter with a women so I don't know if I am simply hard to please sexually or if I am... well I don't even know... This is a WHOLE new world for me... Please.. I need help. Input.. I dropped this bomb on my boyfriend in the middle of sex so I think he deserves an answer more than I do. (He was completely supportive though. Just a BTW) I would really appreciate some advise. From people who I feel know where I'm coming from. :bang::tears: -M
Okay, first off, cut yourself (and your boyfriend!!) some slack. Orgams are nice, but they are not the sole purpose of sex. "I should be able to count on my man to please me." Sorry, but it's not really his sole responsibility to get you off. Nice, helpful, enjoyable, yes. But it is not his duty to get you off. Which is not to say you can't talk to him, and guide him, and help him help you. Have him watch you masturbate until climax. Try different positions (especially cowgirl). Try toys. Just talk about it, but don't make that the whole reason for sex, and make him feel bad if he can't make you have an orgasm. As for the orientation part, that sounds similar to me. I like having sex with girls, but not being in relationships with them, and I don't really get what I would call "crushes" on them. People in this situation generally end up labeling it as bisexual heteroromantic. But it may take awhile until you decide on a label that fits best for you. As for what to tell your boyfriend, I would make the lack of orgasm, and you liking women sexually completely different conversations. Women often think, usually unconsciously, that a woman would be more likely to be able to get them off. Women tend to be more aware of their partner, and women with women partners probably do have more orgasms tham women who only sleep with men. but that doesn't necesarily mean sleeping with a woman will be better/ easier to achieve orgasm.
