Used to fantasise about girls when young? Gay epiphany. Porn addiction.

Sorry about the length of this post. I have a lot on my mind and once I started writing this I found I couldn't really stop. I'm a confused dude looking for general opinions and thoughts on my story........

My first album was by a pop artist named Billie, I was about 10. I wanted the album just so I could look at the beautiful picture of Billy on the front cover.
I remember loving the film Titanic just so that I could see a sneak peak of Kate Winslet's boobs
I remember when I was very young I used to find my mothers clothes catalogues so that I could look at the lingerie models and rub my penis against my mattress (as I was too young to masturbate)
I fantasised about girls I know and celebrities for years. I dreamt of a relationship with many of them and had several crushes however unlike my friends, I went through school/college having no real sexual experiences with girls. Im a decent looking bloke but it just never worked out. I had a couple of girlfriends when I was in my mid teens but never did anything more than kiss them and generally felt awkward whenever I was with them.
Aged 16 or so I discovered porn and essentially went through 6 years of porn and marajuana addiction. Straight porn. But Aged 18 I discovered that I liked to insert things into my anus whilst watching porn. Still watched strait porn but I focussed a lot on the men (almost exclusively the penis) as well as the women.

Ive always considered myself completely straight, which is somewhat ridiculous given my masturbation habits but thats the way it was. Age 23, trying very hard to give up porn, I had an epiphany. IM GAY?!?! I freaked the f**k out for a couple of days and then my emotions levelled out somewhat.

2 months later and I'm more confused than ever. Am i gay, straight bisexual? I only ever notice hot women in the street, and only picture myself with women. Only in the last few months have I looked at guys and it's more a case of 'do I find him attractive?' I still frequently fall for girls I know but whilst I look decent and have a good job etc, I'm hopeless around women. As soon as there is a hint of any kind of sexual attraction I become Awkward as can be.

I've had a naked women in bed on 8 occasions in my life. Every time i've been very drunk but thats still no reason for the fact that on 8 occasions I have failed to even get semi erect.....no health problems, I become very easily erect whilst watching porn. Fr those of you not familiar with pornography addiction, it offers a complex and logical reason for this based around desensitization (multiple hours of extreme porn viewing for years has to have effects)

Over the last couple of months I've gone back and forth. At one stage I essentially decided I was gay....an important process because During that time I came to accept that. Truthfully I don't want that to be true. Don't have anything against being gay but Over 23 years I've built up an identity. It's the way I identify myself and the way my friends and family identify me. If I'm gay then a lot will change and there will be soe tough times to deal with. Fortunately we live in a day and age where homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Living in London, I have the benefit of living in a forward thinking modern city, I have very cool parents and whilst the thought of coming out to them is of course daunting I am very fortunate to be able to say with complete certainty that they would be fine. It's these thoughts that helped me realise that it's not the end of the world if I'm gay......that being said, I still hope I'm not.

I don't have a real question to ask and I know that nobody can tell me whether I'm straight or gay, but you can speculate. You can tell me about your own experiences. i'm just generally looking for any thoughts or opinions whatsoever

Sorry for the length of my post...,,thanks for reading.