Denial & confusion: normal?

Go with what feels right. The confusion and denial is you're minds natural reaction to a lifetime of being told that it is suppossed to react or feel a certain way about the oposite gender. But the truth is that our minds want what they want no right or wrong about it, it just is. so don't worry about being wrong. it sounds to me like you might be naturally attracted to girls. and thats great. me too hehe. and maybe you dolike boys too to a certain degree that's also great. go with the flow and understand that. confusion and denial are normal but they are distractions that will keep you frpm determining for yourself how you really feel. i hope i made some sense. I to have never knew a site like this exsisted, and it really is amazing.

 

To answer your question: your confusion is completely normal. I personally think that when figuring out your sexual orientation everyone is either confused or in denial at first so what you're going through is by all means normal. From what you've said I wouldn't be surprised if you were in fact lesbian or bisexual. You've had crushes on girls for a while now and all of your encounters with boys seem to bear no strong emotional or sexual feelings. It may be possible that you haven't found the 'one' yet but you've said that there are "Boys you really like as people," and this doesn't really show any indication of attraction in any shape or form. I can only speculate but I'd say that there is a high chance that you're not completely straight. Hope this helps (*hug*)

 

Yes, it's quite normal, denial's a bitch. There's a huge difference between knowing one is gay and accepting it. It was apparent I'm drawn to women like crazy but when in denial I seriously believed I just fake that attraction for whatever reason. I remember my friend telling me just go and grab yourself a woman for god's sake but I was still like what if I'm not into women for real? So, yeah, accepting oneself is a process and takes time. (*hug*)

 

There's plenty of time to work out your sexuality. You don't need to 'know for sure' in a hurry. Lots of folks here didn't know until mid-life even, myself among them.

I think sexuality should be explored with the attitude of an adventurer. We don't really know what we will find, until we get there. One day you might kiss a girl, and how you feel in that moment, might help answer the questions you have, for yourself. You are free to date anyone you like, male or female, so if you act on this freedom, some day you will find out for yourself what makes you feel a 'whoosh' rather than 'nothing.' Sure it could have been 'not the right guy', but it could also have been that maybe, you just prefer girls...but only actual experience will tell for sure, imo. I have been besotted with the idea of being with a guy since I had my 'realization' in March this year, but until I actually am sexual with a guy, even just to kiss a guy that I like, I just say 'bisexual' cos it's obvious an attraction for guys as well as girls is there, but with actual experience who knows, I might find I actually prefer guys...in your case, you're still young, plenty of years to explore this await you.

 

I was confused for a while, but it felt a lot longer than it actually was. On my journey to discovering my sexuality, one man told me that gay or not, I still had time to find out who I was.

That man was 45 years old, and also the one who I experimented with over the webcam because (long story short) I wanted to experiment with men, but wasn't comfortable enough yet to date/have a relationship with men.

But when I look my life in a realistic perspective, I have more guy friends because, well, they're my friends! Gay guys would treat girls as if they were friends, because they have common interests, like finding guys hot, etc. Likewise, straight guys would have a lot of guy friends because they also have common interests, like finding girls hot.

So I tried to stick that label on my forehead as gay, but it didn't feel right. To be honest, I was never attracted to guys. If we put aside sexual attraction, I was attracted to girls because of who they were as a person. I liked who they are, and I would assume that is what gay individuals, for example, would go through as well. They would like guys for who they are, not because they're built, etc.

So for me, looking at my group of friends made it clear (at least to some extent) that I was not completely gay. Maybe bisexual, but again I'm not interested in dating guys. I'm not against same-sex relationships at all, but I am not wired that way.

It'll take time for you to find out more about yourself. Took me a couple months to get *some* answers.

 

Firstly, you have amazing parents. You are the lucky one.

Now, you have plenty of time to find out your sexuality, don't rush it. I know, sometimes unknown stuff, especially about yourself can be really torturing. At the same time you want to come out and date girls, and be ok with it, but, you kinda feel not sure about your feelings and attractions, it is difficulte to cope. I advice you to do what your heart tells you to, nothing new but so true. And, you mentioned going on a dates with guys, if you feel it could go wrong, don't date them just to see what will happen... they can end up really hurt, I tell you from my expierence, just in case. If you feel like they look at you more seriously than you look at them, tell them that there is a possibility it will not work out between you two.

Good luck!